Lazyeyetoejamshelfish: im not a cheap who. or my rates are reasonable
Occasional smoker with A Few Extra Pounds
Kingston, Ontario
31 year old Man, 5' 11" (180cm), Non-Religious
Caucasian Taurus with Brown hair
Lazyeyetoejamshelfish Wants a relationship
Some college
Night Owl
Personal Support Worker

I am Seeking a Woman For Friends
Needs Test Not Completed Chemistry View his chemistry results
Do you drink? Socially Do you want children? Undecided
Marital Status Single Do you do drugs? No
Pets No Pets Eye Color Blue
Do you have a car? Yes Do you have children? Yes
Longest Relationship Over 5 years How ambitious are you? Somewhat Ambitious

Sex with robotsPeter panShell fish
Black dotsYellow dotsGreen dots
And robots

About Me
Update.... Please do not send me pictures of your chest. Im not looking to have a one night stand... And if your just going to msg me asking if i want to bang the answer is no. (lol this is clearly a joke)

ATTN: Please do not message me if your picture resembles freddy kruger. Also bald is not an attractive look to me so please if you shave your head im not interested. Dont care if that offends just saving you time. If you have a picture on your profile that clearly was taken after a bad night please dont message me. And if you have no picture at all please include one with your first message otherwise i wont respond.

..Alright, so I have to say I figure the odds of meeting a girl on here are slim to none. But hey, its easier then putting in a real effort to go out, put yourself out there just to be rejected by a girl that realistically would have been your third choice, But that's besides the point. So on to the good stuff..

For the ladies,,, I make a lot of money, and drive my own car... and by a lot I mean I haven't bounced a check in days... but seriously I'm hung like a hamster and would give you the most romantic 2 to 2.5 minutes of passionate loving you have ever had. I have a sweet bike, 10 speed, supa fast, but one is broken so its more like a 9 speed. i love bling, I have a sea shell necklace I got off eBay,, it gives me a rash when I wear it..... my car is so nice... I even got a new tire..cause the old one was old. Boom. Style is everything to me,, I mean if your sporting a jc penny purse with a sears brand coat... PASS.
I like updating my face book, with updates.... of my life Winning.

Wheres waldo? I cant find him. Some random thoughts of mine to break up these words.
Why do they call it a dresser? Bottled Water? Snow Flake,,,, Snow from the sky? Or sweet Marshmallow treat? I can read picture books really fast.
If you can freeze a bee, and bring it back to life, can you cook a turtle and do the same? Toe nails smell weird....
I like using the plastic things they use to attach price tags to clothes to tickle my face....

So what am I looking for? Well I figure the odds of meeting a 8 ft super model with super powers, lots of money, sweet cars, that can transform into a can opener when needed is impossible to find anymore these days I figure I will keep my options open.

If you have done any of these things move to the next person cause im not for you......

Heres my list of faves....
Fav song... Jamie Foxx slow jams,, fav movie... the one where the guy jumps from the car, then comes back to the future only to realize time travel is not real. You know that one. Fav Board Game... Sorry... its monopoly. Fav Country Song.. I would walk 5000 miles... Fav Animal.. a polar bear.. armed with a canon used for world domination. Fav color... blue. No sorry Green.... red. Final answer.

Question: if a girl puts Not interested in head games.. do you think that means shes not good at in my grandmothers basket?

Question: if the carpets dont match the drapes do you blame god or martha stewart?

I'm really bad on these sites, I usually just fill up the "meet me" section with yes, then when a girl messages me I get all nervous,,

I've always wondered ladies, if a nice guy (assuming there is one out there) sends you a message something along the lines of "hey baby, if you ever need help bringing in the groceries from the car just wave me over im usually outside your window anyways" If this creepy, or funny?

Anyways, Clearly my profile is on the joking side. If ya want to chat hit me up.

I will put a serious section here just to clear some things up.
I have a job, I drive a nice truck, I do not live in my mothers basement, I am told I am funny, but will not admit to it as to not come off like douche bag, I like to have fun, laugh, and learn. I really doubt that I will meet my love online, but theres no harm in trying. I have a family that means the world to me and a son that I love more then anything. I work as a psw with the Red Cross in the community I love being able to help people remain in their homes rather then being changed into cattle in a home, I am going to college I know 30 starting college lol in September, I think it will be nursing but not 100% yet. I will talk to anyone I am not raciest I love ladies from all over the world... I do joke and want someone who is fun, funny, or funastic either way I wont settle for what I don't want. Due to my job I often have an hour between texts but I do respond most of the time. Any questions just ask. Good luck folks.

First Date
Who knows, if it gets to it, well figure something out, I like deciding on the fly. Making plans is for chumps. :)