Things that make me feel happy:
Animals - Let's face it, they're smarter than most people we encounter on a daily basis and, hey, they don't know normal human beings aren't supposed to look this dodgy in the morning.
Takeaways - There's nothing quite like ordering a hundred things just so you can taste everything then inhaling half of it before you've even paid the delivery guy then having to do enthusiastic lunging until you can sit comfortably again.
Singing in my car - Nothing beats belting out a song at the top of your lungs with gay abandon. So people point and laugh, so what? Wait...people are pointing and laughing?!
Shoes - A wise lady once said 'Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world'. Whilst world domination currently eludes me, I do have some damn amazing shoes!
Things that wind me up to Eye-Twitch Level™:
Repetitive noises - There is nothing worse than someone across the room continually laughing like a donkey or who has a ridiculous ringtone on their phone that goes off every two minutes.
Poor dental hygiene - If you're not looking after your teeth, what else aren't you keeping clean?!
Old people in queues at lunchtime - Must we wait while you have an inane conversation about the weather? Go get your hair cut if you want someone to talk to! I have 10 minutes left to deposit this cash before my boss takes me aside for the 'acceptable lunch length' chat!
Slow drivers in the middle lane - What the heck are you doing? And, yes, I will eff and blind and gesticulate wildly but then I'll go to overtake, realise my car's a pile of junk, then pootle alongside you in the fast lane for ten minutes while I gaze in fascination at the barrier to my right.
Things I am looking for:
- A sense of humour
- Loaded would be a bonus :P
Things I am not looking for:
- Pictures of your manhood
- Someone just looking for a quickie
- Someone who can't be bothered to turn up on time
- Game players and eejits
I don't mind if your first message is short. If I think we'd make a good match then I'll get back to you. If I don't, then I most probably won't, so I'd rather you hadn't spent ages over it :(
P.S. I'm very nice :)