I am tall, dark, and have been told that I look handsome in my uniform. I play baseball, and I feel I'm very fortunate to do something that I love. I'm not a dumb jock or a player. Now, you're probably rolling your eyes at this, so I will give you a second to finish. Ready? Ok. I'm a pretty smart dude, otherwise, how else would I be able to steal the signs from the other teams Third Base coach?
I am what you call the competitor's competitor. I always want to win, no matter what it is, and I always want to outperform my highest level. I'm bummed they took baseball out of the Olympics, because I most likely would of been a part of the 2012 games. They kept Badminton and table tennis instead, so I probably should start training for the 2016 games so I can get my medal. I have won several gold medals for cuddling though.
Going out and having a great time is what it's all about, because if you're not having fun, what's the point?
I love to make things fun, no matter where or what it is, and it is always a good time. I have over 3,000 vinyl records that I have collected. I love music, and I know thousands of songs. I can usually tell you a song within the first 3 seconds of playing it. Yes, I am that good. You can even play "Name That Tune" with me to see if you can beat me, or guess it faster than I can. A challenge is always good.
In recent months, I have chilled with a few celebrities. I saw Paris Hilton for 40 seconds at the newsstand on Van Nuys Blvd. in Sherman Oaks. I gave a her a thumbs up and she gave back a confident smile. Carrie Underwood looks even better in person, and was gracious enough to sign 14 copies of her CD for me. It was my amazing charm that won her over. The best one ever, was when I met Kramer from Seinfeld at an Italian restaurant. He was standing in the corner, looking nervous, uncomfortable, kind of checking things out, waiting to be seated. I thought I would break the ice by asking him to do the "Kramer slide" for me but he refused. I offered him to do it for $20 but he gave me the Michael Richards glare and instead. He said "C'mon Man" and then walked away. Hey, you can't win 'em all right?
Why am I on here you say? I came on here to maybe see if there was someone that I can really connect with, that I haven't been able to find off line. Maybe there's someone amazing on here that I haven't been able to meet. Maybe there's not, but I will find that out for myself. So, if you're looking for something real, instead of the old and the boring, you can throw in the waste of time as well, then let's get the ball rolling! Get ready for great experience and a breath of fresh air.
Now for your viewing pleasure, you can read my newly original about me below.
Let's see, I'm a very unique, sometimes thoughtful, untalented, lazy kind of guy, with no goals, future or ambitions of any kind. I pretend to be funny on occasion, but only on the first Tuesday of each month.
Normally, I would search thousands of fish profiles on here, and write to you long winded, boring, copy and paste, sleazy, and really confusing messages. But doing that, would require me to log in to my account each day. I firmly believe that always doing less is better.
I coined the phrase "Confidence is the new ***hole", but I don't think it has caught on yet like the other lames ones such as, "Go Big or Go Home", and "I work hard but play harder". My new bumper stickers and T Shirts should be on the way very soon, they are being printed as I speak.
The New York Yankees are very annoying to me, but not as much as the announcing of broadcaster Joe Buck.
When I go into a bar, girls from near and far say "I'm a gangster. A gangster of love".
I like when women have really red blood shot eyes from a long hard night of drinking. I find that incredibly sexy on a woman. Also, those girls, are the only ones brave enough to stand up with me and sing 1970's pop karaoke hits. Barry Manilow, Neil Diamond, and the "Piano Man" by Billy Joel, are always personal favorites.
I get my drinks for free, because John at the bar is a friend of mine. I'm quick with a joke, or to light up your smoke, but there's no place that I'd rather be.
So, I just joined this site, and was randomly given a bunch of new matches on here I always prefer using my own system, because you never know if that cute nurse turns out to be a 50 year old, 300 pound Italian guy named Guido.
Here's a trivia question for all you Football Fans
What happens more often in the NFL?
A. Brett Favre coming in and out of retirement
B. Chad Johnson aka Ochocinco changing his name
C. Terrell Owens joining a new team, acting cool, then becoming a douchebag again
D. Tony Romo choking in the playoffs when it counts
E. Blacking out the home Chargers games on local TV
I once went out on a date with a girl that was 7 feet tall. That was kind of awkward for me, because everyone mistook me for being her little brother.
I went from Phoenix, Arizona, all the way to Tacoma, Philadelphia, Atlanta, L.A
Some people call me unique 'cause I speak of the pompatus of love.
I love to outguess a pitcher and take a part his best pitch. He will get mad and then scream "Son of a b**ch!" I will then steal second base because that makes him feel even worse. Actually, I do it just to hear him curse. Given a chance, I will even take third. By now, he must really feel like a turd. My coach in the box behind me, not much time to really converse. I take my lead, now heading for home, I love to get dirty, and l always go in head first.
I'm not a Jack in The Box, but I do know Jack S**t. I drink Jack Daniel's while listening to Captain Jack. I'm a Jack of all trades, and I love to hit a Three Run Jack. At Halloween, I carve the best Jack O' Lanterns. I listen to Mellencamp sing a little ditty about Jack, who grew up in the heartland, was gonna be a football star, sucked on chili dogs, and had his hands between Diane's knees Oh yeah life goes on, but unfortunately my first name isn't Jack.
So, to sum up this about me in one line, from the words of the great Stevie 'Guitar' Miller,
Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time, Ooh-wee baby, I'll sure show you a good time.