My profile is quite a bit longer than most of the other ones. But I tried to write something a bit different from what you might expect. If you are easily offended or have no sense of humor, then you probably shouldn't read this.
My name is Milan. A very rare and exotic name that often gets mispronounced, but I don't give a shit. I would upload some shirtless bathroom pictures, but my nipples are the size of half-dollars. Well, at least one of them is anyway. Sorry to disappoint you.
I only joined this website because my last idea to meet women was to go to the tampon aisle, and put all the vagisil up on the top shelf where nobody could reach them. Then as girls would come by I'd come around the corner smelling of cheap perfume, with my shirt unbuttoned and I'd say "Hey Baby, it looks like you could use a hand."
I started playing guitar about three weeks ago when I bought Learning Guitar for Dummies on DVD. I will definitely use it as a way to get into your pants. People are always telling me to never start a band....Or whatever. I've always wanted to come out on stage butt naked so everyone can see my big thundercock bounce and flop around Bill Idol's "Mony Mony."
Remember when Jimi Hendrix set his guitar on fire? Well, I thought of my own thing where I squeeze off a huge turd on it.
I would describe myself as Mister Rogers wearing ass-less chaps and high heels. My cats would describe me as loyal, charming, empathetic, caring, genuine, and sometimes my roommate likes to take a dump when I am brushing my teeth.
The real reason I joined this website is because i can't find what I'm looking for in person. When chicks see me working the drive-thru at Kentucky Fried Chicken, their panties pretty much just slide off by themselves. But I stay single because I'm holding out for that one filthy whore who wants to be my part time lover, and my full time dominatrix queen. I don't want to sound picky, but I only like big, Big, BIG beautiful black girls.
Sorry if it takes a while for me to respond. Daddy just doesn't have time to sift through all of his hate mail to see your message.
I only intend to appeal to the people who find this amusing. So if you don't like my profile because it's too long or it has the same effect as someone farting in your face, then you can suck my balls.
Don't let my appearance fool you. I'm just a sick **stard looking for a nympho with a big fat ass and some Double D titties. If you think you are big and black enough to be my ****, then see below.
Send me a message because it will make me blush like a little catholic school girl.