The details of my life are quite inconsequential. Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon... luge lessons... In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my-nevermind-
I've spent the vast majority of my adult life in two extremely long-term relationships but have been single now for almost two years (and really looking to change that). Now, in a city of 4million women I'm convinced not one of them are single. If there are any they certainly don't cross paths with me. So hopefully this series of tubes known as the "world wide interweb" can help me out some. Ideally I'd love to meet a nice and fun young lady who is easy on the eyes, loves to laugh and enjoy life and has a sense of humor. It would also help if she were a bit on the creative side and prefers cultural activities over eating food. I want us to become a team... of pure AWESOMENESS. PS - I am looking for a real relationship (gasp!).