Rule 1: Your pictures must be recent. “Hi. I was supposed to meet my friend here. Are you her mom? Is she unable to make it tonight?” Did you post pictures that are super old? It is super fun to see you as a kid and it is really cool to see what you used to look like. NOT! It would be nice if your pictures were from 2014 or newer.
Rule 2: No crazy women allowed! "Are you someone I want reading my profile?" Now, who the hell are you and why are you reading my profile? LOL I know what you are doing on the Internet, cruising for guys! It would be pretty creepy too if it wasn't for the fact that I am cruising for women on the Internet. However, I don't want to meet any crazy women! If you are crazy, stop reading now and move on! I have my rules!
Rule 3: No religious fanatics. If you are religious, (meaning “God is someone I will see when I get to Heaven.” or “I go to church every week to pray to God so I will go to Heaven” or if you have ever said, "That is a sin! God will punish you and you won't go to Heaven" please move on and find someone who believes that rubbish.
Rule 4: You must have a good sense of humor. “Are you laughing yet?” Laughing should be something you do ALL the time. (Do you know what channel Comedy Central is on?) If you don't know how to have fun at this point in your life, I am not sure we are a “match”.
One more thing, you still might be offended by what you are about to read. If you have a simple mind, please go to the next profile.
I am the guy you see at the stop sign who is in his car, in his own music world, singing and bopping to the music. (I can really embarrass my daughters & I enjoy doing it.) At least I look good doing it. My pictures are a little over the top because I have no problem being goofy. I am not afraid to kid around and look silly. I hope you can handle it.
I have been working out but I am not really over the top about it. Well, maybe I am a little over the top about it. OK, I drive my family nuts talking about my working out and I don’t intend on stopping any time soon. The arm picture is in there because before last August, I didn’t have an arm to show you. I have never worked out or had muscles before. It is a nice change. I don’t want to be fat and lazy. Besides, I have never looked this good before. AND I FEEL GREAT. I would hope my partner would feel the same way I feel about working out. You know, for the same reasons too.
How are you with spontaneous? Sometimes I can be really crazy with my girl and hop in the car (nearly naked) and steal off in the middle of the night and drive somewhere fun to do it in the car or a public park somewhere and have a natural experience! There is a certain “adrenaline” rush that you get right before we both you know, have to drive back home. By the time we get home I will be ready to play a round of slip-n-slide. (The adult version.) I also have a pool table. Just think of the possibilities! (I have incredible stamina.)
I am looking for a woman who wants to have a seriously fun friendship. I mean we should start the friendship off having fun together. This means, when we are together we always chortle. even giggling uncontrollably. I am going to have to have you write a full comedy sketch include stage prompts and directions. It needs to be performed every Friday night 9pm. (You also have the option of shooting a video, which might make it easier to edit and perform your comedy sketch without mistakes.) I just want to laugh. Is that too much to ask?
If you are still reading, let's meet or at least talk or email or something civil.