"I don't have time to hate people that hate me, because I am way too busy loving people that love me."
I'm no Romeo, I'm no charmer, I'm not your knight in shinny armor, I'm not tall, dark and handsome, I won't hold your Love for ransom,
but I sure beat sitting at home on Friday night ...... waiting.
If you are aggravated, angry or upset about your whole, miserable, rotten life .....
Its not my fault, I don't even know you!
Yes, it says unemployed. I know that is a real deal breaker for most but I am just letting you know this up front.
A lady asked a man if she was pretty, he said "No". She asked him if he wanted to be with her forever, he said "No". Then she asked him if he would cry if she walked away, he said "No". She had heard enough .... she needed to leave.
As she walked away he grabbed her arm and told her to stay. He said "You're not pretty, you're beautiful. I don`t want to be with you forever, I need to be with you forever. And I wouldn't cry if you walked away, I would die."
One night a guy and a girl were driving home from the movies. The man sensed there was something wrong because of the painful silence they shared between them that night. The girl then asked the man to pull over because she wanted to talk. She told him that her feelings had changed and that it was time to move on.
A silent tear slid down his cheek as he slowly reached into his pocket & passed her a folded note.
At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street. He swerved right into the drivers seat, killing the guy. Miraculously, the girl survived. Remembering the note, she pulled it out & read it. "Without your love, I would die."
There was a woman named Becca and a man named Joe. Becca was in a burning house. None of the firefighters could get in the house because the fire was too big. Joe dressed in one of the fire suits and got into the house. When he got up the stairs, the steps fell off behind him. When he got into her room he sealed the door up behind him. He held her tight, kissed her, hugged her, then said that he loved her. She asked what was wrong, and he said that he was going to die. Her eyes widened as she began to cry. He picked her up and jumped out of the four story house. He landed on his back with her on top of him. He died to save her life.
A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle.
Girl: Slow down. I'm scared.
Guy: No this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, it's too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug. (Girl hugs him)
Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on? It's bugging me.
In the paper the next day: A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. Two people were on the motorcycle, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him, felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so she would live even though it meant he would die.
"Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginnings End"
If you told me ten years ago I would be on a computer dating site .. I would have told you the same thing I would tell you today .....
"I don't date computers!"
It said on here somewhere we should practice safe sex ........
"I have never tried having sex with a safe" o_O
Last Sunday at church the preacher asked if anyone knew what the resurrection was ....
little Johnny raised his hand and said "Yep ... and if it lasts more than 4 hours you should call a doctor!"
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck ... if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Ask Geico, they seem to know ... did you see the commercial?
I have read so many profiles I am blue in the face, looked at pictures till the cows came home!
I'm going to read the instructions now!
It seems like people are always saying: "In a perfect world ...."
Hey .... it's not a perfect world ... never has been!
I came here to find a girlfriend, I'll stand her in the corner and admire her!
Does anyone know how often to feed it?
Okay ... where do we go from here? You wait for me to message you .... I wait for you to message me .....
I don't see how this is going to work out!
When I ask people if they have heard of POF they always reply ... "that place is a meat market!"
I haven't met a butcher on here yet!
If you cooked dinner, then I should get the dishwasher loaded, right?
"Three stiff drinks and a kiss on the lips should do it!"
I could go on forever but it won't do any good, no matter what I say here, the truth is ... if you don't like the pictures up above
then its doubtful that you would read my profile. That being said, don't tell me how to write my profile, its my page, my time ...
I can waste it if I want to ... and you can see I am really good at it! Ok, seriously if you have read this far ... maybe, just maybe.
you like my sense of humor, you're serious about finding a great guy and everything else will work out.
Many people tend to lower their expectations but I have raised mine, contained in this page is a culmination of my thoughts,
feelings and humor. Some things I say are off the wall or even from left field, but my friends say, there is never a dull moment.
At this age goals and aspirations boil down to live as simply and as well as possible with the resources available.
I'm okay with smoking and other hip sports but of course one must answer no on the question.
By way of full disclosure, please note that like most of us over 50, I have a few health issues, I may discuss this with you if
we actually meet and I feel the need.
Yep, another night with the drip of the sink and the tick of the clock!
I want everyone that reads this to do just one thing for me ....
"Expect something good to happen for you, Today!"
The truth is, you all seem so wonderful, I find it difficult to pick one, if I were picking jelly beans I would just choose the red ones.