For those of us who have been forced into singlehood, we adapt to a new way of life, one of more solitude, one with more ME than WE time.
Some days I am so glad to come home at the end of the day, shut my door and think, phew > I don't have to deal with another human being tonight, no compromise required, complete ME time to rejuvenate and recharge and enjoy my own quiet space > including my very comfy king size bed :) It's not about selfishness, but more about knowing what I like and doing what I want without having to take another person into account, something that i spent 20 years doing. Other days, I long for that WE connection, the companionship, having a loving partner to come home to, to care for, to hug and share things with, to experience all that life has to offer, because we all know that it is most definitely a short one.
That being said, there is an important distinction between being alone and being lonely. I am alone.
I will continue to focus on ME until a great fit comes along, someone worthwhile to shift the focus to WE again. I remain optimistic.
Social media has allowed people to have constant choice, never to settle and always be looking for the next best thing. It is safe to assume that every person that we meet, whether it be online or otherwise, is also communicating with several people and probably will continue to juggle and keep all options open for quite sometime; me included. This makes getting to first know someone tricky - If someone becomes immediately fixated - that is not desirable, it comes across as desperate, if someone is very charming and engaging and then the next day, they disappear, well, that is a sign of flakiness and disinterest. If somebody is genuinely interested they will MAKE time, plain and simple, and if that is not happening and there are endless excuses about being sick or having car troubles etc, that is their way of saying, MEH, you are not worth getting to know. The games most play on here are incredibly disheartening. If you cancel on me, chances are there won't be another opportunity. If you dream of having a 3some and still haven't had one, or are ambivalent about commitment and are emotionally unavailable, then please don't waste my time. I am worth SOOO much more than that. MOVE ON.
We all seek a person to compliment and not complicate our lives. I want to invest my very precious free time into something that has potential to be longlasting and meaningful. *****The "casual" thing is NOT for me, not interested in sharing a man with anyone*****
Chemistry is evident from the very first meeting and if the spark isn't there, it never will be. Honest communication is the key here. If the feeling isn't there, say it!
Many that I have met have described me as : a cool chick, kind by nature, super chilled, very easy to be with and talk to, sarcastic and cheeky, sweet and generous. Close friends will describe me as a person who appreciates the little things, the simple things in life, definitely a "good catch".
I have to admit that I do know what I am attracted to. Some read this list and are appalled at me, ask me, What is this? a cafeteria? Ummmmm, yes, in many ways it is, and I will be choosy, thank you very much. If I don't like brussel sprouts, then NO, I won't be choosing to eat them :) Much the same as finding a suitable partner, hopefully one that fits me just like my favourite pair of jeans :)
This is what I am most attracted to - but none are necessarily deal-breakers:
(L'il secret : I have a serious crush on Chris Evans) Is it too much to ask for hot AND humble?
- NON SMOKER (anything!), NON SNORER! DRUG FREE
- ideally someone on a similar work (M-F, 9-5) and sleep schedule (11'ish til 7'ish, later on weekends) would be awesome, i LOVE my sleep
- have a grasp of the english language >>> you enjoy DINNING? that better be loud sounds and NOT food that you are talk'n about, basic grammar - it's the difference between knowing your sh*t & knowing you're shit!
- minimum 6 feet tall + and approx 200 lbs + (broad shoulders and a smooth back are a huge bonus) I am not a small girl :)
- GREEN/BLUE/GREY smiley eyes :) are a huge thing for me - i find that is what I am first attracted to
- great hair (shaved heads are alright, but definitely not what i would prefer if i could choose)
- someone who drinks on occasion, not several times per week or to get "wasted">you guys are killing precious brain cells, not to mention your livers! I rarely drink.
- live within south central T.O, or a 30 minute radius of me easily accessible by public transit
- fit but not an obsessed gym rat - if protein shakes are an important part of your life, then we will likely not be in synch :0 i will have a rich chocolate shake from Baskin-Robbins please!
- somebody who will indulge in my home baked desserts and not count the calories, (also - if you are concerned about peanuts or dairy or gluten, we may not be a match)
- somebody who can laugh at themselves, is easygoing, laid back and would prefer a pub over a classy restaurant, a hoodie and jeans over a suit and tie
- someone who loves to be outdoors, appreciates nature and animals and the warmth of the sun :), i speak squirrel fluently :)
- someone who is open and willing to date a woman with children but does not want any (more) of their own as i am done with making babies :)
>>> clearly, you would have to be open to the idea of being around children if we were to click, if you aren't (and they are not for everyone!), please save you and ME time and don't connect, thank you
* other plusses include > having a full-time job and having/owning your OWN place (or at least having a goal to achieve that in the near future would be preferred) * as i have both
**** and lastly, if you have EVER been unfaithful to a partner, then please don't message me, my tolerance for that is ZERO regardless of the excuses please****
Love is everything,...It makes you happy,.. gives you life and belonging,.. it gives us togetherness and a reason to be here.