How many times have you been down this road? You meet some mindless creep on here... You go out a few times. Nothin comes out of it. You keep tryin and tryin. Its like steppin in doggy poop. After you've dried your feet off, you step right back in it. Are you sicka wasting your time?
How would you like to have respect, quality time, consistency and unlimited access to happiness. Its like pushing a button and getting instant gratification. No more lonely Friday nights and weekends. No arguing. No more being stood up. No more rudness and disrespect. No man coming home drunk at 5 am and arguing and fussin about why his dam dinner isn't cooked. No more making private time for battery operated boyfriends. No more wondering if someone is watching you. No more missing your rhythm and making that face because you just missed your climax. No more fiddling with remotes and DVDs. No more fighting one minute and wanting to take your clothes off. No more cheating. No more Stick and run and fallin asleep. No more wondering whens the next time your gonna see your man. NO more bars! No more blind dates. No more clubs. No more DUMB ASS LITTLE BOYS. NO MORE BULLSHIT!! NO MORE! Your problem is now solved.
I offer you :
All that from one man? Daaaam Right! Its time.... ITS TIME! Finally a man who is going to work WITH you to get that happiness that you deserve. And check this out....... After your tired, exhausted, sore, tender, satisfied, wore out, womb whacked and sick of havin a man around? All you have to say is "GET the fugg OUT!" or " Im outta here " Then you can go back to your life. Call me next week. WOW!
I don't wanna know what you do... I don't wanna meet your friends. I don't wanna meet your parents. I don't want your money. Youre not getting any of my money. I don't want to move in. I don't wanna see your kids. I don't want kids. I will NOT judge you. Everything we do and expenses is 50/50. What we will do is between YOU and I. Whose business is this? Its ours. No reason for all your little girlfriends to know that YOU are the only one getting happiness on a consistent basis. Your girlfriends are all complaining about their men. But not you..... Ohhhh no.. Your secure in yourself and your all warm inside and contemplating the next week, because you know your gonna have a great big man next to you and you can finally relax after a looong week and get your happiness. WOW!
What? I hear you:
Are you going to be doing this with multiple women?
Look, I don't want one woman. 2 women is just askin for a life and world of bullsh*tn drama. I'm beyond that . I said "Mutual Exclusivity" Look up the definition. No. (its in writing, look!)
Yes: I hear that too:
How often do I need my happiness?
Look at the worst once a month. And I'm fine with that. Every other week is fine. Once a week is best. I have no wives or kids or anything so I can do whatever you want to do. I'm free of encumbrances and or responsibilities.
Lets sit down over waffles and discuss this. Lets make sure were not mental patients. Lets discuss being good to each other. You be good to me and Ill be good to you... And if you have any questions, you can ask me later when we break bread.
All that I ask of you is:
You don't have sex for money
You're not a freak
Have a job and or a passion
You cant be crazy
If your a criminal, Im sorry... Stay away from me.
If you abuse drugs. Fugg You.
If you're an alcoholic. Fugg you too.
420 Weed is alright with me if that's what you're into.
I don't care of you smoke. There's a lot worse things you can be into.
MMmmmm.. Waffles, sausages, cheeeze eggs with green onions, crispy rhind bacon, a huge glass fulla milk and ice cubes, a coupla pop tarts and orange juice.. Or lets do Capn Crunch in the park. Bring a bowl and a spoon. See I like havin fun! So whats up?