Erasmusflattery: There I was, deep in the dating jungle
Non-smoker with Average body type
Loma linda, California
41 year old Man, 6' 1" (185cm), Non-Religious
Caucasian Leo with No hair
Erasmusflattery Wants a relationship
High School
Free Thinker
Project Manager / Sales

serenading my daughter, poorly but with gusto

I am Seeking a Woman For Dating
Needs Test Not Completed Chemistry Not Completed
Do you drink? Socially Do you want children? No
Marital Status Divorced Do you do drugs? No
Pets Cat & Dog Eye Color Brown
Do you have a car? Yes Do you have children? Yes
Longest Relationship Over 10 years

Peruvian midget hurlingDeep sea whale ticklingArt critic baiting
Star wars historical re-enactmentsLawyer huntingRedneck pigeon bbqs
Dinosaur collectingBigfoot huntingAlcoholism
Automobile tagOk now for realRoad biking
WritingDive bars

About Me
If you think the earth is bigger than the sun. . . please move on, there is no way I could ever be in the same room with you without mercilessly making fun of you. The same applies if you aren't aware of how the seasons work. This is elementary stuff people. I'm losing my faith in education reading how people answer this stuff. Oh I am sure you justify it by thinking how incredibly proficient you are at tweeting and texting with one hand while driving 90 miles an hour through traffic, but the truth is you'll be the first people to die off if there's a zombie apocalypse. If the zombies don't get you due to your lack of common knowledge, your fellow survivors will off you quietly when they realize how incredibly ignorant you are and throw your body to the zombies as a temporary diversion.

Well that sucks, I'm very familiar with the Myers-Briggs personality test and they have one one here to see what personality type I should be looking for and apparently, it's me. I'm going to save a lot of money on food and beer and just buy a mirror to keep me company.

Define "real man". Are you really looking for a man like my Grandfather the logger who shoots his own meat, chews baccy, and dutch ovens Grandma? Or are you looking for Joe sports fanatic who spends his time between the sports bar and his living room couch with the 42" plasma? Or perhaps you're looking for a man who isn't afraid to share his feelings, watches weepy movies, and goes dancing with you? (he's gay by the way or maybe George Clooney and if you're on here you're not going to meet him anytime soon). Well, I don't dance, don't really like Nick Sparks movies (Sparks Plot Summary: boy girl meet/ boy loses girl/ boy gets girl back/ boy dies), and everytime I share my feelings an angel dies, wait . . . , sorry was that gets his wings? In any case nothing good comes from it! Unless you're a therapist, are you a therapist? If so lets meet!

So look, I'm real last time I checked, but if movies and the T.V. have raised and taught me well, (and they may have) there is no way to tell for sure. I could be a butterfly dreaming I'm a man or a man dreaming I'm a butterfly, dreaming I'm a man, eh? Didn't think of that did you? Well neither did I, or did I? For the sake of argument let's assume I'm real for the moment.

I understand that for some people it's hard to write a profile, I find that fact very helpful in weeding out people. Listen, I'm not concerned with your grammar or even if it makes much sense. I'm merely impressed that you bothered to take some time and put something down other than you like to walk on the beach. So do dogs . . . and bums, and most human types. I am sure that thousands of light years away some mutated gas bubble is blubbering away to a prospective mate how wonderful it would be to hover tentacle in tentacle across the scintillating ice beaches of their home world. This is pretty much a given. Now if you like to walk at the beach so you can randomly wander up to people and ask them if they've seen your sand anywhere, you just had it a moment ago and you seem to have put it down somewhere, well then I might like to follow you around for a bit.

Spelling, however, is not optional. If you don't want me to "waist" your time, or you don't want to spend a lot of time on the "fone", then we probably aren't a match.

I have news for you; if they broke the mold when you were born. . . there was probably something horribly wrong with it and you. Generally speaking if something is really cool and awesome, we tend to manufacture it in great quantities and possibly make it a cartoon or maybe a breakfast cereal. We don't scratch our heads and say "Well Cletus, looks like we'll never make one better, lets break the mold and go back to rust farming."

Unless you have three arms, discovered the General Theory of Relativity, or happen to be the President, you probably aren't all that unique. There are 6 billion people out there and we can't all be special. Even if you think you have a unique personality, that's debatable. The Myer-Briggs test only has about four personalities that are under 2% of the population, so chances are pretty good that you aren't one of them. And even if you were, you'd share that distinction with 120 million other people. Even sociopaths aren't all that unique, 1 in 25 people are a sociopathic, put that in your pipe and smoke it! This is not a bad thing though, because unique people are strange, weird, and socially unacceptable. That being said, I'm a unique man in my late 30's . . .

I'm very happy that you are in a relationship with Jesus; does he know you're on here? Or is it one of those kinky threesomes? Listen if you were seriously offended by the last sentence just leave now. I don't believe in God, but I don't care if you do, I find nothing particularly offensive about the idea of God and I don't mind people who love to go to church. I like going to church, I go with my daughter every week. I don't need saving though, and I know my way around a bible and can hold my own in theological discussions. What I don't want is a future where I might face the possibility of Bible verses in some sort of cross-stitch explosion framed and stuck on the wall. I do have a sense of humor about it though, so if you're easily offended we won't get along for dating.

If you actually read this whole thing I applaud you, I probably wouldn't have.

I spend my time between working and my daughter. I absolutely am a workaholic, love an occasional gin and tonic (the gentlemen's drink, though I am no gentleman in the English sense). Love New York, like to ride road bikes, Into independent filmmaking, writing (poorly), documentaries, and reading. Not really interested in anything serious for now, but I do miss having a conversation with an intelligent female. Mostly interested in casual dates and maybe making some new friends, if it leads to something else then fate has stepped in and smacked me upside the head, and what can I do about that?

Love the Dodgers and go as often as I can, but not fanatic about it.

First Date
Two words. . . . Midget Rodeo. Ok that's only once a year, probably a drink preferably someplace where they have really good beer, but I'm not making any promises we could just as likely end up throwing rocks at mimes, or staring deeply into the cold dead eyes of a lizard. What am I, the date maker? We'll do something, it's probably not going to be sky diving or a trip to paris, but it will be fun.