FIRST OFF: Since I see quite a few women referencing this.
I have a truck and it's paid off...it even runs...and there's no gun rack in the back window neither.
I have a job in a office that I work between 45-55 hours a week...But I have been known to escape occasionally.
All of my furniture and appliances are paid off...On a good day, I can even work most of them.
I'm told I smell great...I guess not farting in public helps?
I shower daily...maybe twice if one chirps out unannounced *Disclaimer* I DO NOT suffer from walking farts!
My smile shows all of my teeth are there...if you follow a Redneck around long enough, you can get one of theirs.
I can spell and form complete sentences...I've noticed several of you can't so quit pointing the finger.
I'm not the product of inbreeding...my parents were from 2 different states...moving doesn't count.
I wear my pants above my ass...have never been in prison...and have never worn an ankle monitor.
I'm not conceited or stuck up...but I am pretty darned good at what I do...If I'm churning butter, I'm having a moment.
Sometimes I do suffer from brain farts...not to be confused with those other farts!
I know this is a long read but may as well weed out the LAZY fish!
NOW ABOUT ME:
I guess the one thing others always say about me is that I am resourceful. I will always find a way! I'm pretty good at doing most things and I learn quickly. I'm not a Rocket Scientist by any means but I always strive to do my best in any endeavor.
I do like taking trips and doing almost anything but I also have my moments that I just prefer to stay at home and relax. I enjoy a good movie or board games or maybe chasing each other around the house? I love romantic time with my partner…sharing a glass of wine or champagne and enjoying each others company?
I'm open to doing or trying almost anything but skydiving is going to be a hard sell to me. Jumping out of a perfectly good airplane and getting the $#|T scared out of me is NOT on my bucket list! See housebroken note below
I do smoke electronic cigarettes and I don't mind if you are a mild smoker but I don't think I could handle a chain smoker. Not into kissing ash trays. I'm not that big of a drinker...a couple of drinks is my limit. Ever try explaining to a Policeman why you’re chasing a parked car? Besides, I can get goofy enough just being sober. I’ve been called “Squirrel Bait” before. Just what the hell does that mean? (UPDATE) I’ve been informed I’m nuts! I want a 2nd opinion! Okay, wait...I want a 3rd opinion!
I've done a lot of things in my life and I'm still capable of most of them and it doesn't take me long to get the rust off and get back into the swing of things. Anything you see in my interests...I have done, am doing, or want to do again, and I'm sure I've missed some things. NOTE: Skydiving wasn't one of them.
I will always have your back in any situation! There is no problem that can't be solved. I want you to KNOW that you can always count on me to stand behind you, AND/OR in front of you, when needed. I fix things...so if you want me to just listen, by all means TELL ME upfront before I start engineering a solution!
Something that is going to be more on my TODO list is exercising and working out more.
WHO I AM LOOKING FOR:
I guess I should start off by saying that I'm looking for a gal that is intelligent. Intelligent women are more open to that which enhances a relationship. The next thing is I’m looking for a gal around MY AGE. I would also prefer she be in the 5'4" - 5'11" range. Worst case scenario, if she has 3" heels on, we're the same height? NOTE: I will consider stilts for the exceptional woman that is height impaired. I’m looking for someone who is somewhat height/weight proportionate but I’m certainly not opposed to a few curves. I’m not looking for Barbie here…only Barbie for me!
The woman I am looking for should love to laugh and have a great sense of humor. I prefer a woman who doesn't require a lot of makeup, most days, but if she wants to "go for it" on nights when we go out, or stay in, that's fine as well. I'm looking for the gal that makes me want to get up on the bar and do the Tequila dance. (No I don't like Pee Wee Herman and no I don't like Tequila) But if she can make me do that silly dance or even the butter churn, then she's got to be a keeper!
I'm not looking for a quick romp in the hay and I don’t have to prove that I am a man by running up some kind of score card to fulfill some sub-conscious inadequacy. Sex is an all day experience that starts with a smile, a caress, a kiss, a little note here and there, a rose, a phone call during the day, or anything that lets the other know they are thought about. By the end of the day, we should hopefully look forward to a night of romance and perhaps “frolicking”?
I always try to put the desires of my partner first and it would be nice to have someone that thinks that way as well. If your dog OR cat has more clout than I do, then this is off the BS charts because I'm housebroken and I haven't had a "mishap" in years! What do I have to do...wag my tail? Besides, I can lick your face better than (insert animal here) can!
If I have looked at your profile more than once, it probably means I have some type of interest OR you have tricked me by rotating your pictures. If I have favored you, it means that I saw something in your profile that I liked...try saying Hello!
If any of your pictures are "tagged" with the POF advertising logo...I won't respond.
Women weirded out from their past relationships...oh yes, there have been several.
Drama...if it follows you like the plague, I will be hightailing it as fast as I possibly can!
If you've got more than one profile (many of you do) pass me by...Can you say Sybil?
Hit and Runs...If you email me and then don't respond after I've replied, you are blocked permanently within 3 days.
If you're not serious about dating, go out with the girls and don't waste my time.
Liberals...for obvious reasons
***Love is like a fart...if you have to force it, it's probably $#|T***