RyanOnymous: There once was a man from Nantucket...
Non-Smoker with Athletic body type
Vancouver, British Columbia
35 year old Male, 6' 3" (191cm), Other
Caucasian Leo with Blond(e)
RyanOnymous is looking for a relationship.
Masters degree

I am Seeking a Woman For Dating
Needs Test Not Completed Chemistry View his chemistry results
Do you drink? Socially Do you want children? Undecided/Open
Marital Status Single Do you do drugs? No
Pets No Pets Eye Color Hazel
Do you have a car? Yes Do you have children? No
Longest Relationship Over 2 years How ambitious are you? Not Ambitious

About Me
I'm pretty much a loser with no friends, no hobbies and the emotional maturity of an 8-year old, but I have awesome hair and the most Pogs of anybody on my block so I guess that's something. My mom and parol officer both agree that I'm well on my way to making life my b itch.

No real sense of humour to speak of so if that's important to you, move along sista. The only jokes I know are about dxcks and farts, but come on- that shxt will always be funny!

I enjoy smoking, drinking, pornography, obsessive gambling and petty theft. I will steal your heart and then that cool dragon's tooth locket with the secret compartment to hold drugs that your favourite aunt gave to you for 6th grade graduation. I will try and sell both to pay off my debt to the mob.

I quite hate music, small children, sunsets, puppies, the smell of dew on the grass on a crisp fall morning, and cilantro. Fcuk cilantro.

I never go outside. What's the point of being in a park or at the beach sitting around in the fresh air, when you could be at home in front of the computer all day doing something that matters, like World of Warcraft. I mean, right now I'm a level 30 Arcane Fire Mage with +15 agility boost on my Cloak of The Tiger enchantment! You can't get that taking a walk in the forest.

Anyways, I've always thought that a messy breakup leading to divorce might be fun, but I need to go through all of the stupid intermediate steps first. If you're keen to help me get there, shoot me a message!

First Date
Let me pitch you an idea:

We go out a couple times. We make out, maybe we bone. Or maybe we don’t, and I just never call you. Or maybe we do, and then we get married and move slightly out of town to some place where people of modest means can get a pretty big yard, and we get a goat, but the fxcking thing is too loud and keeps chewing through the fence- they are surprisingly clever animals. Maybe it actually figures out the latch. But point being the goat keeps getting out and getting into the neighbour’s yard and eating his heirloom tomatoes or whateverthefxck- maybe we laugh at this. Maybe this discord with our neighbours only brings us closer together, like, us against the world. Maybe not, maybe you never wanted to get it in the first place, maybe you never wanted to move to the suburbs, maybe you secretly blame me for everything moving too fast and now you’re stuck here out in Chilliwack or something and now you’re like 33 and if you leave me you’ll never have biological children, but if you stay with me you don’t know how you can stand even one more fxcking second in this house in the middle of nowhere and separating the bank accounts is going to be such a god damned pain in the ass, and the goat isn’t cute anymore, it was a stupid idea, and it has an expected life span of like 35 more years but any place you give it away to might use it for meat and that would pretty much be unconscionable. You don’t want it, but you can’t get rid of it. That’s what it’s going to be like with you and me in like four years. Maybe. I mean, I don’t know. I don’t have a fxcking crystal ball.

Anyway, how about it?

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