Just moved to the area and I'm here to make new friends. Not hit on you, not wine/dine you, and not to make creepy gestures at you. So without further delay...
You’re all looking very pretty today, maybe we can go grab a drink sometime - no, crap. I promised I wouldn’t do that. Sorry. Habit.
Anyway, the reason I pulled you all aside…is to show you my...Wait! Don’t leave, I was just kidding. Okay, I think I got it all out of my system now.
I think bullets might work best for this:
- I need a goofy chick.
- I'll answer to any concoction of four letter words.
- Born and raised in Cocoa Beach, FL.
- Graduated from the University of Central Florida.
- "Retired" triathlete
- I have a sleeve that's cleverly hidden pics so you can't identify me in public, stalkers.
- Don't take me seriously, ever.
- My time at the gym is my escape.
- I'm unpredictable and will keep you on your toes.
- Like most guys, I'll probably let you down at some point.
- I'm rebellious by nature.
- Respect me, I'll respect you.
- I have a smart mouth and enough charm to make up for it.
- I'm 185 lbs of spunk and sarcasm.
- I have amazing friends, I have amazing enemies.
- Redheads are hot.
- I like boobs, guilty!
- I'm a beach kid, flip flops are year round attire.
- Getting me into a suit and tie will cost you.
- I make bad decisions in critical situations.
- I can cook.
- I play two instruments: air guitar and dashboard drums.
- I speak three languages: English, sarcasm, and sexual innuendos.
- I find humor in the worst situations, it helps me cope.
- I've been cat fished.
- I say the wrong thing at the wrong time.
- I don't make promises I can't keep.
- I'm a lefty, that makes me better than you at things to include, but not limited to: activities of daily living, sports, etc.
However, I'm a firm believer in you never really know somebody until you've either competed against them or argued with them.