I am whatever you make up in your head, but it's time to kick this punk-rock party up a notch
Holy ****! We're shopping for people now?! This is awesome! Let's go people shopping!
Hi, my name is Ben. Looking for love is like looking for a new pair of shoes: you go into the store and they are the only pair you see, the rest are just a blur on the wall, you get your size and go. But for most of us, we spend all day shopping and at the end try to convince ourselves into liking the best possible pair cause dammit, we need'em.
I am a big fan of pre-marital sex and hot tamales.
I think whoever did the math on the amount of handicapped spaces we need in this world was way off- they're always empty!
I prefer the non-electric version of battleship because I like to make the noises myself. Plus, the electric version doesn't include machine gun fire, sinking sounds, and overall malaise of the shipmen.
Not sure if someone is sketchy? Just ask yourself this one question: "would you go camping with them?"
Anyone who smokes a cigar in public is an inconsiderate ***hole and should put the thing out, up their ass.
I would someday like to stand in line at the grocery store without seeing which celebrities are getting fat, dying, or divorced: "Oh I feel so much better now....yup, much better you than me."
I think revolving doors are the shittiest thing ever invented; just make a big ****ing door!
I like to go to the doctor and ask, "Hey, how's business?"
I really like that fugees song
A wolverine could wrap christmas presents better than me. As long as I cover the entire surface area of the gift, I am happy.
If you don't believe in: "once a cheater always a cheater" - you're a cheater. If you do believe in: "once a cheater always a cheater" - you are the cheatee- shitty
Books, Movies, and Music: anything that would make the hairs on the back of my neck stick straight into the air, make me lose sleep, cry, or have some other form of rapture. Or of course laugh my ass off..
Food: A giant bowl of cereal
Mommy used to hit me, so I painted my fingernails black. Daddy wasn't there, so I had to get a mohawk. How all the kids at school don't like me anyways, so..... I got the big black baggy pants with all the chains in 'em. I don't like the popular kids at school because they always care about how they look.......but I betcha I wear more makeup!
But in all seriousness, what I'm doing with my life:O
Waiting to see what happens to me, and doing everything I can to fill in the space until then.....wait I know what will happen to me.
But my ultimate goal in life is to get so fat I get a handicapped decal, have six kids with a welfare card that gets 800 dollars a week on it, and a ford taurus so I can pull up to walmaht and buy a giant container of cheese puffs.
Shopping on plenty O cause I can't stand being alone for one more single second of my life! Someone please save me. I am so pathetic and just need someone now cause I'm just not happy by myself. I need someone else to make me happy.......HOPE YOU ARE OUT THERE!!!!
Message me if plenty o makes you feel like you're surrounded by a pack of hyenas, but for some reason you're still here.
Or you know why the guy in spandex looks in the mirror before he goes to the gym and says,
"ok....here I am.....I'm ready.... just like
this....nothin else...no shorts.....alrighty....here I go............"
Cause I've got no idea