If you've read this far, the hypnosis is working.
A little about me:
I have deep blue eyes and huge filthy tits that everyone wants to see because they're jealous.
If you combined Kurt Russell, Marty McFly, Dr. Alan Grant, and Tyler Durden, it'd probably be nothing like me, but I'd think it'd be pretty cool.
I know bewildering facts no one should ever know but are interesting none the less.
I love Jaws, Jurassic Park, and All That Jazz.
I take very little seriously and strange noises out of context make me laugh uncontrollably.
I love Grandad humor as well as extremely dark humor.
****ing love burritos.
I have a legit fear of expired milk. I don't know why.
I'm also quite terrible at sending the first message so if you are tired of tall, dark, and handsome and want to try average, dark, and furry, message me.
SIDE QUEST NOTE:
If you were ever a "sexy" cat for Halloween keep moving along. Nothing to see here.
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
I'd say we're going minature golfing, but then actually take her bowling but never stop referring to it as minature golfing. I'd also keep referring to beer as Pop.