Nothing makes my eyes widen more like a psycho is standing outside my window with a knife than stumbling onto someone's dating profile and it literally is a 55,000 word short story about Peetie their pet goldfish said you shouldn't settle on anything less than X, Y, & Z. (There's no cure for Z are you sure that's what you're looking for?)
So here are a bunch of one liners that I feel as though capture the true ***hole I am. Enjoy.
I don't shop, I pick up things.*
I exercise judgement.*
I smoke pot, but don't judge me for it, I don't let it define me so you shouldn't either.
I'm a fan of lists (this isn't obvious at all).
Punctuation and grammar are fun. We should use it more.
I'm clumsy as ****, but find it hilarious. (I fall up the stairs frequently)
I can dunk........... with a step stool... 5'2 is tall.
I like to laugh, giggle, cackle and make others do the same.
I could keep up with India Jones in the adventure world.
I'm the craftiest crafter around. Send me into the woods with a pocket knife and a Q-tip and I can build you.... a Q-tip cut in half and maybe a really cool wooden thing.
I'm genuine, loyal, and wifey material. ("wifey material: a woman who can make a mean sandwich for her man and pair it with a beer for him on game day without one ****y word slipping from between her lips).
Big fan of change of any kind.
Horror movies are my all time favorite.
I'm an artist. I like making weird looking sh*tand selling it for a bunch of money without having to deal with the tax bullshit.
The most common title people put on me is "Free Spirit"
I didn't think it necessary to clarify, but in lue of recent activity in my messages, ladies I am flattered honestly, but you know vagina is just not my thing. No, really, not even a little bit.
Apparently I should clarify I am not into married men... Lol I'm not about sloppy seconds
*only when necessary