About Me
I relocated this to the top and
Don't text me if any of the following apply.
You're in a committed relationship.
You have a problem with gay marriage.
You think will ferrell is anything better than mediocre.
You can't do a sit up.
You have no intention of meeting in person.
you don't have a pic.
The pics you do have are distorted or are all from above that only show half your face and all of your cleavage.
If you stand up straight and your stomach sticks out further than your chest.
DO MESSAGE ME IF
I added you to my favorite, seriously I read your profile and like you, it's my lame way of saying I'm interested and you should let me know you are too.
you like being on the back of a motorcycle.(ninja) I don't have it in cali with me unfortunately.
you have your own sport bike.
you have a moto-x bike and you'll let me ride it. ( I can't justify buying my own right now) by June I will .
you have a better suggestion for my headline.
you love Italian food.(real Italian not that GARBAGE noodles and ketchup they serve at olive garden)
This will be an incoherent rambling.not looking for drama, or a clingy ultra-jealous person. I have the ability to find humor in almost all situations although most of the time its dry sarcastic humor,
Filling these out suck,
I'm fit just under 6 foot and vary between 145 and 170, I work out, take an mma class and do some personal training ( which is why my weight varies so much).
My life is in balance but not harmony, I work out, I drink beer.
I eat healthy, I smoke.
I work a lot, my ex-wife drives a navigator but doesn't have a job.
I have a daughter in illinois.
I can't dance.
I'm atheist. Very atheist.
I very very rarely initiate the messaging on here,
I have a mild case of ataraxia disorder, no it's not an eating disorder.go ahead and Google it I'll wait.
I'm not great with the grammar and the spelling.
I really enjoy alone time.
I also enjoy sleep although I have insomnia.
I'm very analytical.
I'm pretty good at reading people.
My sarcasm doesn't translate well in text messages.
I don't plan on getting married, if that's your goal for your next relationship I'm sorry you wasted all this time reading this far.
I know the difference between you're and your.
I watch a lot of movies.
I prefer a dive bar with a pool table over a club.
I'm a "jackass of all trades" I don't call a repair man for anything.
I've done a LOT of drugs (none now).
The greatest high I've ever had was on dirt bike.
I love paintball.
I'm pretty liberal.
I don't like associating with a political party.
I have antisocial disorder, again google it, it doesn't mean I'm shy.
I know to much useless information.
I'm smart enough to know I'm not smart enough.
I have a very raw honesty, all you women that say you want an honest man you don't know what you're asking for, what you want Is a faithful man.
If you and your sister get into a huge fight, I won't have your back if I believe you're wrong.
I'll never point out your flaws to anyone else.
I don't do the hallmark holiday sh*t but I'll stop at the farmers market and buy you flowers because it's the day I felt like buying you flowers.
I don't understand why talking about sex is taboo, it's not the 50's anymore.
I'm kinda pretentious when it comes to food.
I love to cook, I'm pretty freaking good at it too.
I'm arrogant, but playfully, when I say yeah I'm ****ing awesome I'm completely serious. I'm awesome.
I can be pretty boring sometimes though.
I enjoy the journey, I don't rush to the destination, you should get to the destination 3 or more times before I do, if not I'm way to drunk to be navigating.
I really enjoy messing with people.(not being mean just messing with them)
You should pull up Google 1 last time, search for "emails from an a**hole". It's a guy that messes with people who post stupid ads on Craigslist
The site is called dontevenreply, read the one titled clumsy seller, if you don't find it funny you wasted way to much time reading this far.
I'm not proofreading this.
I signed up on twitter just to follow tosh.o.
I quote movies all the time, this is your life and its ending 1 minute at a time.
If you have read all this shit, and you obviously find me attractive (we all check pics first don't act like you're any different) you should message me now otherwise this was a complete waste of you're time.
I think out side the box and can look at situations from different viewpoints.
I'm pretty funny and quick witted in person.
I'm really working on quitting smoking, ( I don't care if you smoke or not, I promise I wont be that pretentious person that throws it in your face on how great they are that they quit and you didn't every time you light a smoke.)
I don't get jealous but be honest lies are ugly and as I said earlier I'm good at reading people.
I say exactly what I feel to whomever whenever.
now that I'm sitting at my pc I used the spell check but not grammar check. I'm not correcting all the mistakes though so please don't feel the need to point them out.
I have a busy schedule but I don't sleep so I can always find time to do things.
I have a daughter that it would take a really long time for anyone to meet if we're dating.
I have baggage just as much or possibly more than you, but it's neatly organized and has wheels, I carry it well.(I think)
I'm to lazy to search the quote but it's one of my favorites and I may be paraphrasing. " it doesn't matter how perfect you think she is, someone somewhere is sick of putting up with her shit."
I'm really surprised you've read this far.
I've had 2 very serious long relationships one of which ended badly and the other is just a long ass story.
I don't regret either.
when it comes to music I'm mainstream and local. I love going to see live local stuff and have several friends in bands, even though ones a death metal band and I don't really care for that sh*t I still go and buy a t-shirt and enjoy the show just to support them.
I listen to just about everything though. pandora is one of my favorite apps.
I don't care for my family, I love them but wouldn't hang out with them if we weren't related well maybe my brother and 1 cousin every now n then.
I have a lot of buddies but very few friends.
I still talk,text and/or hang out with the majority of my exes.(not the ones that cheated on me or stole my dog.) and the ones that fall in love with me and get pissed when they can't change me.
I don't have a girlfriend but I know a girl that will be pissed when she reads this.(if you can tell me who I took that from I may fall in love with you.)
originally I only put that as a joke, but I met a girl like the day before I moved to San Di