Apparently I’m really good looking (webcam can prove it) so if you find my horrible pictures at all promising you’ll be attracted to me. My body is probably more-so thin than athletic.
For the most part I’ll tell you others’ opinion(s) of me. A lot of this is a reminder from a friend who was yelling at me for disappearing off the face of the earth for six months.
I’m beyond anything you’ve ever imagined. I have the sharpest quickest best sense of humour you’ll ever find. People are naturally drawn to me and I touch the lives of everyone I meet with my uplifting addictive personality. I am fiercely loyal to and protect those who are worthy. Apparently I’m very bright, intelligent, insightful, wise, outspoken, and cause people to think so if thinking causes ouchies in your head I’m not for you. Everyone loves story time with me. That’s because the most random, unusual, unexpected things happen to me. At first I might seem shy but I’m just quiet until I can see you’re not some horrible ogre that’s gonna club me on the head and eat my bones. Me and drama don’t go together. I’m happiest when I’m outside. I think for myself and know better than to get wrapped up in ignorant, naïve, stupid, misinformed cultural fads so I’m only interested in white women, I’m a Christian, and I’m not racist towards my own race. I’m open-minded to hearing out and evaluating new ideas. Unlike most “open-minded” people I don’t get all huffy and violent when someone tries telling me something “new,” nor do I attack people for having different beliefs. Lovely bunch :$ Nothing means more to me than being in a relationship with a great girl. Relationships are good, modern methods and beliefs are what screw everyone over. Given the option, I would choose to do this in real life along with everything else.
You = female, no MTFs, white - preferably Slavic (Polish = best) or Finno-Ugric, thinner, tall, well proportioned, 18 to 30-?, high wide cheekbones, smaller mouth and chin, not square jaw, delicate features, light colour hair skin eyes, feminine, experience and display normal human emotion, intelligent, quick-witted, fun, affectionate, easy to talk to, level headed, forward-thinking - hopefully politically incorrect + outspoken. Religions: Eastern Orthodox, Catholic, Lutheran, other Christian, non-religious. If you’re awesome enough I can overlook: marijuana usage, a couple small tattoos. Tattoos across chest or upper back, being covered in ink = deal breaker. Should be: in or finished college/university/apprenticeship if 21+, natural blonde, blue eyed. Girls born before ’88 after ’91 = best.
This rewrite is incomplete - I'm just posting what I have so far.