I love your shedding cat destroying my sofa and gagging in the corner. I love holding purses in department stores. Sure have my credit card. Its quite alright if you call your ex. Please throw away everything I have ever owned and bring all your stuff to my house. Why id love to hear about how much you hate my mother. What's that you want to go mud riding, sure, take my vehicle, it looks better when it is ruined. I'd love to go clubbing bc my job isn't as immportant as you getting drunk and repeditive bass thumping through my spine all night.
Should I continue?
Apparently, after numerous of messages, it has been suggested that I inform you that the sentences above are to be considered tongue in cheek.