I had a sort of a kinkster woman ask me what I was looking for recently. Here was my response:
Depends on exactly what you're asking me that in relation to. But ultimately I'm looking for someone to meet me on a "kinky", intellectual, and life level so I can finally be building something special personally, professionally, etc. with someone else, rather than by myself as I have been to this point. I want someone I can look at every day and think how beautiful they are in a traditional sense and at the same time know we are aligned in less traditional ways as well. It's very difficult knowing who and what you are, having your own super high expectations, and everyone else's constant hypocritical expectations, yet not having someone to turn to who gives me the opportunity to be and share my whole self without judgement or flight.
And I'll say this, because it's such a huge deal to so many women: I don't drink, smoke, or do any drugs. Meaning, alcohol, weed, cigarets, etc. have no place in a relationship with me.