First, I am not looking for sex. It is not like those desires don't enter into my head sometimes. I am human. What I would like is to find a partner. I am trying to live a life that is pleasing to God. That is why I want to wait until I am married. I am fully aware this may not happen for me and I am in no hurry. I have made that mistake already. I got engaged to my ex after only a week of being with him and was married 3 months later. It was a bad experience with no honeymoon. I was attacked the night of my wedding with no intercourse or even cuddling. It lasted less than a year. I was a single mom and wanted somebody to be a father figure for my child since my child does not know her father. I should have been more careful. My child's father is not in her life by his own choice. I have tried to change this. My daughter is 12 now. She is my focus, but it is hard to raise her on my own. This is my responsibility and I am not looking for someone to do it. I would just like some emotional support sometimes. At the moment I am disowned by my parents. My mother says she is ashamed of me and my brother as well. This is her problem and I still try to make it right. My brother and his wife, however, are "done" with my parents. My dad communicates through my mom so his feelings are vague, but his lack of ever being involved speaks volumes. My brother is a good man with a new, young family and he has his own business and works a fulltime job with a high level of responsibility. He does not deserve the treatment he is being given.
Please don't misunderstand why I am posting these things. My sole reason is to weed out those who would not be interested in my life and to let those who would be have a fair understanding. I do not normally share these things and do not want to make my family look bad. Everyone makes mistakes and I have made my own share. I do not regret them. I learn.
Now for more positive things. I have accomplished a lot in my life. Now I would like to do more meaningful things for others. I honestly don't know what I like to do for fun other than learn things on,the internet and watch t.v. I have good sense of humor and love to laugh. On the flip side, there are so many horrifying things in the world. I behave now, but I haven't always.
I am looking for someone to be friends with and who would be fine with the possibility that it may only be that. I do long for physical closeness and that is how I show and like to be shown love. Gifts are nice, but not necessary at all. They do not show emotion to me. I also get a guilty feeling for receiving them. Isn't that silly? Ihaven't experienced an equal partner and would love to. I would love old-fashioned values, but know the world has changed.
It is hard for me to get away and frankly, it scares me. It would be nice to do something that does not involve money. If you have any children, perhaps we could meet as friends and all do something together. It is not appropriate to bring people in and out of children's lives, but making new friends is a good thing to show kids. I know I am crazy!
If no children, maybe we could do something where we would be around other people.
These are suggestions, but I am open-minded. Just don't try to kiss me onmy lips!