ObviousFakename: I got bit by a donkey once
Smokes often with Average body type
Apple valley, California
31 year old Man, 6' 2" (188cm), Other Religion
Other ethnicity Gemini with Brown hair
ObviousFakename wants to date but nothing serious.
Some college
Starving Artist
Roguish Cut-purse & Scallywag

I imagine this is the first step on my way to becoming Gary Busey....

I am Seeking a Woman For Friends
Needs Test Not Completed Chemistry Not Completed
Do you drink? Socially Do you want children? Undecided
Marital Status Single Do you do drugs? Socially
Pets No Pets Eye Color Hazel
Do you have a car? Yes Do you have children? No
Longest Relationship Under 1 year
Second Language Other  

StuffFun thingsExcitement
Not boringColors other than greyBeing a hermit
ScrabbleSetting low expectations so even mundane tasks look impressive and impressive tasks become mind blowI mean not being a hermit
Not monopolyBeing a surprisingly good dancer mostly due to knowledge of rhythmFinding out why im bendable like a chinese gymnast
Asking inappropriate questions in an innocent manner thus sparking conflicting reactionsEllipsesMany an awkward moment

About Me
I am extremely awkward... not in the adorable way either, in the acquired taste resulting in loving or hating... or complete indifference... I have no tattoos because I want to be different and not fit in....If you have tattoos because you like them, cool, if you have them to be different and original, take a look around you and see how different you really aren't. Same thing with vegetarians, if you do it to be healthy or you just want to, cool, if you do it because it hurts animals, well then keep killing plants that can't even run away and come back back when you realize that you were living in a fantasy world where life didn't feed on life.

When I want to appear suave and/or whatever, douche-y, I'll modify the cliche and use this pick up line, "What do you say me and you go back to my place and you can tell me don't worry it happens to lots of guys and maybe we can try again later..." with an almost arrogant level of confidence, or if they are in a group, make the announcement to all of them while making rotating six guns hands, "Alright! Which one of you ladies am I gonna disappoint TONIGHT?!" Thinking of how to shoehorn in something about shame eating and not looking at each other afterwards as well.

If someone responds o the question what kind of music do you like with an answer of one or two genres only, what they are really saying is, "I don't like music but I am trying really hard to be a part of this scene". Music much like a person's race, there is going to be good and bad of every kind. Don't perpetuate stereotypes, don't try to be like anybody else, be yourself and stop trying so hard, it bugs me watching shells going thru the motions.

I think I'm gonna rewrite my whole profile in the style of Mr Tumnus being incognito and never mention being a faun or Mr Tumnus but list faun type activities, such as pan flute, but not realizing that should be a dead give away of having goat sticks....

Whenever I get depressed, it's never because I'm feeling down on myself, it's because I'm sad the rest of the world isn't as awesome as me. Curse my individuality and mental instability.... and roguish good looks...

Ever since I got out of the mental hospital, I haven't been able to get a job. Couldn't get a boner long before that. Apparently I've been balding for a while but the sneak attack just barely became noticeable. I have no money, live alone in an apartment, drive a beat up 86 cressida with packing tape as a window and out of the other 3, 1 still works. I don't really like being around people because most people generally suck. Whenever I do find somebody worth hanging out with, they are usually the only one at the moment, they get sick of me fairly quickly except the ones that are going to be around forever.... So I guess that system is working out for me. I'm currently selling most of my possessions in case squatters rights don't really pan out.I don't really drink often but for some reason the only friends I have that stick around either are, or become bartenders.... Hmm... also just realized the people that want to hang out with me but I don't want to hang out with them because their ratio of dumb to useful things said is largely in the former, yeah they usually become hopeless drug addicts, hopeless in the sense that the person is no longer there, all they are are a shell with scavenger tendencies... Maybe I shouldn't be such a****

This "&" is called an ampersand, now you might have learned something from this.

My favorite compliment to give is, "You look like a fancy prostitute." I know it will almost always be taken negatively but I get a kick out of saying it.

I like to play acoustic versions of rap/R&B music because it's hilarious to me,
Person - "Do you know any Zeppelin?"
Me - "Nah, their songs are all about hobbits but I can do Pony by Ginuwine"

I want to give creative writing exercises based on tail ends of conversations, where the goal is to write up to that point, this is gonna be the first one, "No, but I got a midget in a clown suit."

I often dream of running thru glass windows. I'm built like gumby and am inexplicably flexible.

I was sad when the rapture didn't happen because, 1, I wanted to invent a sport called rapture rodeo, and B, My birthday would have been the first day of Zombies.... Zombie apocalypse, my only potentially unattainable goal. *Shakes fist at science*

My goal in life is to have a lawn so I can yell at whippersnappers and rapscallions to get off of it.

I believe that the role of Nate Dogg, the guy who comes in and sings the hook for rappers and saves their song but is incapable of a solo career, should be given to Micheal Bolton.

GWWA! Somebody write me, I'm good at replying but suck at initiating conversation... plus I'm bored... and cold... and there are wolves after me... well... not really wolves... nor are they coming after me... it's just Los Lobos playing in a car driving by so it sounds like wolves are chasing me.

I'm kinda a **stard with good intentions, I may say something that sounds mean but I swear I had the best intentions when I said it.... sometimes the truth hurts but maintaining lies requires too much effort.

I've been told I should probably be a comedy writer..... but I think with all my long winded diatribes and over all feeling of confusion with nothing really said, I should write political speeches.


This line reserved for something clever *coming Christmas/Kwanzaa 2015*

First Date
Checkers and/or scrabble. Tiebreaker will be settled in Bingo Battleship, where all your moves are decided by an old lady with a bingo ball cage... I just made that up(possibly already exists but I'm unaware of it) but think that could actually work in a bingo hall environment with like thirty players, last player whose ships weren't all bingo'd is the winner.