In a conversation about online dating, my friend basically said "I'm done. It's boring. If I have to read one more profile where some chick talks about how sassy she is, I'm gonna puke. And then you go through the pictures and it's like, 'Great, you like to travel. Great, you've been to Peru and know that it isn't in Europe. That's awesome.'"
So I'm gonna take a tip and not talk about traveling and sass.
Instead I will tell you that I would pet any dog that I encounter.
I crave fried chicken every two weeks.
I name my gadgets after TV characters that I like.
I can sing many of the opening songs to sitcoms from the 80s. (Except Mr. Belvedere.)
Huh. I've run out of things to say.
What the hell is this section supposed to be about? Am I supposed to talk about what I do on first dates or first dates that I've had?
Okay, so here's both.
Bad first date: The guy audibly sighed and when I didn't ask what was the matter, he sighed again and said "I'm fine."
Good first date: We drank beer and talked well into the night about things that made me laugh.
Bad first date: I got nervous, drank a lot, and told him I was gonna step outside for fresh air. I tried hailing a cab except he caught me in the act and said "Were you gonna leave without even telling me?" Awkward. (We dated for 3 months.)
Good first date: Met up for ice cream... but still hungry, we ate burritos and nachos after dessert.
So a good first date from you: Be funny. Ask questions. Bring food.