Loves overly gruesome horror films, scary stuff, tall loopy roller coasters, disgustingly fattening foods, girl scout cookies, performing, dressing up in costumes, knitting for the process and not the finished product, healthy competitive card games, N64, reading Chuck Palahniuk, quoting How I Met Your Mother, "schwinging" my hips, and my sense of humor.
Does not love karaoke bars, the DMV, 405 traffic, 101 traffic, 5 traffic, traffic, driving in general, working out, sad faces, chocolate, dark beer, ugly babies, Mexican food, and people who take me too seriously.
Are able to communicate something is funny without the use of "lol," know the difference between "your" and "you're," do not take pictures of yourself shirtless in front of the mirror with your iPhone, have seen at least one Muppets movie and/or episode of the show, eat sushi, and watch horror films.
Also, if none of your pictures contain a smile, I'm not interested.
Also, if you send me a message with a horrible yet surprisingly clever pun then I'll probably marry you. Think before making such a commitment.
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
Take me to see a real life Battle Royale and/or a haunted mental asylum and I'm yours.