I'm old, I have the personality of a cardboard box, and I drink too much. My goals in life are to have enough money to live off of lunchables and TV dinners for the rest of my Life and to be the senile old man on a front porch yelling at small children to get off of my lawn.
The actual truth of the matter, if you're still reading this, is: I'm not in the shape I used to be, but I'm not morbidly obese. I like the gym but I won't live in it, there's things I'd rather be doing. I miss sitting on my porch drinking a beer during a thunderstorm... Because I don't have a porch here and Hawaii apparently doesn't have real thunderstorms. The one true fact that still stands is that when I get old, I want a front porch to be senile on so I can yell at small children. I don't care who you are, it's fun. I cook.