After being on this site long enough and having grown tired of all the nonsense that goes along with trying to do the online dating thing, I'm not interested in trying to manufacture a romantic relationship with anyone I meet online.
So at this point, a beach buddy is pretty much all I'm interested in. If you're a beach lover like me and you'd like to hang out there and exchange banter, people watch, hatch a plan of world domination, etc., message me. Just be sane, intelligent and reasonably fit.
I moved here from Chicago and am in the (long & painful!) process of getting a business started...
I look like a gym rat but don't have the mentality of one. I have a wicked sense of humor (as demonstrated below ;) I'm confident but humble and not on drugs, prozac or parole...I promise.
I'm not really sure how else to describe myself, so I'll just give you a list of some things I'm NOT:
1. A serial dater (Not that I wouldn’t want to date a lot of chicks, I just don’t 'cause I don't want people to refer to me as a “serial dater.” Sounds too reminiscent of “serial killer.” Eww.)
2. Into the club or party scene (the terms of my parole prohibit me)
3. Perfect (but I’m so close you probably won’t be able to tell the difference)
4. An arrogant jackass (ok, maybe I’m arrogant but “jackass” is a judgment call)
5. Vegetarian, Vegan or interested in any type of diet that doesn’t include pizza at least twice a week.
6. Concerned about ridiculously superficial things like the size of your breasts (I’m much more of a “booty” man)
7. Serious about anything written above that is contained in parenthesis.
8. Going to have anyone want to message or meet me after reading this who is snooty or doesn’t have a serious sense of humor…it’s how I weed people out ;)
Feel free to message me if:
a) you are laid back, intelligent, funny, sane, fit, attractive and female
b) you have nothing better to do
c) someone tries to take you prisoner while you happen to be checking out my profile. I'll call 911 right after I've looked at my facebook and checked a few scores on ESPN.com
d) you are a person of extreme intelligence and impeccable character (or just really, really HOT...;)
e) you are 5'2" but only date guys who are 5'10" or above because you like to wear 6 inch heels. If your footwear and how you look in them are more important to you than the quality of the people you date, do message me because I know a good divorce attorney and you're gonna need one someday.
(btw, and I hate to break this to you, but unless shoes are all you're wearing at the end of the evening, most guys don't notice or care about what you're wearing on your feet. And they really don't care if you're short.)
f) you are 30+ and still into the club scene. I'll hook you up with my 21 year-old nephew. When you're not clubbing you can play X-Box together.
OK, now on to some (mostly) serious, semi-random stuff...
First of all, if you're just looking for a one night stand or casual fling, move on to the next profile (said no guy ever;)
Sorry, I just couldn't resist one last wisecrack.
Please don't message me just to say hello or kill time doing some online flirting. This is not "Plenty of Flirtation." The idea is to actually meet people.
Also, if you send me a one-line or otherwise brief response that doesn't keep the conversation going, I'll take that to mean that the conversation is over. If you're not going to put any effort into it, neither am I. :P
95% of my interaction on this site has been like this:
Her: "Nice profile. You made me laugh!"
Me: A response a paragraph or more long that includes at least one question.
Her: A five-word response to my question. Nothing else.
Sorry ladies, but that's not how it works. Messaging is a form of conversation. If you don't want to engage in one, I can only assume you're either not interested or need some serious work on your communication skills. Either way, I'm more inclined to kiss a dead moose's ass than message you back :)
I tend to only be attracted to adventurous types. This isn't code for "I'm looking for a booty call friend or sex on the first date." But unadventurous people can bore the hell out of me pretty quickly.
To paraphrase a famous philosopher, I already know that 2+2=4. I don't need to keep recalculating it.
Life is an adventure to be experienced and explored. Take an ayahuasca retreat in Peru. Go to a nude beach. Live, damn it. Live! ;)
I'm sort of a "medium energy" type. I don't spend a lot of time on the couch but I'm not out running marathons either. I hit the gym regularly but don't feel the need to be incessantly in motion. So I'm probably not the best choice if you're looking for a paddleboarding, biking, hiking, tennis or mountain climbing partner. And I really don't like to dance. What can I say? I'm a white guy ;)
I tend to not be very compatible with alpha type women or those who are strongly opinionated about everything under, inside of, and above the sun and feel that everyone is entitled to hear those opinions. :)
I don't have much experience at the online dating thing but I know that I much prefer meeting in person to exchanging 26 emails followed by 9 hours of IMing and then 5 hours of talking on the phone before even considering meeting face to face. We'll be able to tell more about each other in 5 minutes together at Starbucks than through all the other stuff.