I recently moved here from Chicago and am in the (long & painful!) process of getting a business started...
I look like a gym rat without the mentality, have a wicked sense of humor (as demonstrated below ;), am confident but humble and not on drugs, prozac or parole...I promise.
I'm not really sure how else to describe myself, so I'll just give you a list of some things I'm NOT:
1. A serial dater (Not that I wouldn’t want to date a lot of chicks, I just don’t 'cause I don't want people to refer to me as a “serial dater.” Sounds too reminiscent of “serial killer.” Eww.)
2. Into the club or party scene (the terms of my parole prohibit me)
3. Perfect (but I’m so close you probably won’t be able to tell the difference)
4. An arrogant jackass (ok, maybe I’m arrogant but “jackass” is a judgment call)
5. Vegetarian, Vegan or interested in any type of diet that doesn’t include pizza at least twice a week.
6. Concerned about ridiculously superficial things like the size of your breasts (I’m much more of a “booty” man)
7. Serious about anything written above that is contained in parenthesis.
8. Going to have anyone want to message or meet me after reading this who is snooty or doesn’t have a serious sense of humor…it’s how I weed people out ;)
Feel free to message me if:
a) you are laid back, intelligent, funny, sane, fit, attractive and female
b) you have nothing better to do
c) someone tries to take you prisoner while you happen to be checking out my profile. I'll call 911 right after I've looked at my facebook and checked a few scores on ESPN.com
d) you are a person of extreme intelligence and impeccable character (or just really, really HOT...;)
e) you are 5'4" but only date guys who are 5'10" or above because you like to wear 6 inch heels. If your footwear and how you look in them are more important to you than the quality of the people you date, do message me because I know a good divorce attorney and you're gonna need one someday.
(Btw, and I hate to break this to you, but unless shoes are all you're wearing at the end of the evening, most guys don't notice or care about what you're wearing on your feet.;)
f) you are 30+ and still into the club scene. I'll hook you up with my 21 year-old nephew. You'll probably have a lot in common.
OK, now on to some (mostly) serious, semi-random stuff...
If you're only interested in a one night stand or a booty call partner, move on to the next profile... said no guy ever ;) (Sorry. I couldn't resist one last wisecrack.)
Alright, serious mode:
I'm a pretty real, down to earth kind of person. Wayyyy past the stage of trying to look or act cool or impress people with superficial nonsense.
I'm sort of a "medium energy" type. I don't spend a lot of time on the couch but I'm not out running marathons either. I hit the gym regularly but don't feel the need to be incessantly in motion.
So if you're the type who considers a good day one that involves three sets of tennis in the morning followed by a 15-mile bike ride, a two-hour paddleboard session before dinner and then runs laps around the living room before bedtime - I respect your enthusiasm but I'm probably not the best choice for you.
I tend to not be very compatible with alpha type women or those who are strongly opinionated about everything under, inside of, and above the sun and feel that everyone is entitled to hear those opinions. :)
I'm also not into divas, glamour queens, money obsessed types or any other type of pretentiousness. If your idea of a night out involves getting dressed up like you're going to the Academy Awards and sipping martinis in Brickell or on Las Olas, I'm not the guy for you.
I don't have much experience at the online dating thing but I know that I much prefer meeting in person to exchanging 26 emails followed by 9 hours of IMing and then 5 hours of talking on the phone before even considering meeting face to face. We'll be able to tell more about each other in 5 minutes together at Starbucks than through all the other stuff.
Coffee or something casual. Anything but dinner. It doesn't make for a good first meeting in my experience.
Also, if I like someone and we become involved, I don't care how much money I spend on her. But dropping $120 to take someone I don't know to dinner just to find out within 10 minutes that we're not compatible is plain stupid on a Forrest Gump kind of level. :) Sorry, but this isn't an Audrey Hepburn film. It's real life internet dating.
So if you're the type who measures a guy by how much he's willing to wine, dine, spoil and impress you on the first date, please don't give up an evening of watching reruns of Keeping Up With The Kardashians to meet me. ;)