I'm a creeper. I don't buy into this whole internet dating idea, but I do so love to read dating profiles. I thought of it as harmless fun; an interesting diversion; something to while away the time when nothing was going on. I wonder, was that proper use of a semicolon? Damn things always confuse me. Anyway, back on topic. I just noticed recently that POF shows who has been viewing you. I fear my near empty profile may carry with it a creepy stalker vibe. So, a little about me, just to take the edge off.
I learned women have been lying for years. On and on they'd go, talking about how much of a hassle skirts are. Oh the sacrifices that must be made on the altar of beauty. Sorry ladies, I own a kilt, and I love it. Hassle? Sacrifice? How about freedom? Yeah, freedom. I rock the man skirt.
I often see women wondering where all the knights are. Well, they're all dead. Centuries dead. And you should be thankful. They were unwashed elitists, lording over the underclasses in the name of the unwashed elitists lording over them. Anyone claiming to be a knight today should be avoided like the plague. They have lost touch with reality. That first date would probably be awkward as they arrive on their trusty steed, Huffy, and seek to sweep you off your feet in their tin foil armor.
I was a smoker. I'm not now. Well, not in the conventional sense. I have my trusty e-cig. My binky, if you will. Now instead of smelling like an ashtray, I smell like cotton candy. Or so I'm told.
What is average body type? That confuses me. If you take into account the statistics, average is getting larger and larger. I went with average as I am a little soft in the middle, but my gut is gone. Yay me.
I don't have any recent pics. I may one day get around to taking one. Or not. But, if you are trying to visualize the jackass behind these ramblings, picture a white Damon Wayans. Yes, Major Payne.
So, I'm a wise ass. I don't take the idea of internet dating seriously, but can't seem to get enough of reading profiles. If you see me in your viewed me screen, pay no mind. I'm harmless. Just really, really bored. Thank you, and good day.
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
First: taking place at the beginning of a sequence
Date: small, edible fruit
First Date: the small, edible fruit at the beginning of a sequence of small, edible fruit
... think I'm hungry.