I looked at a lot of profiles here and I am sorry to say that it made me cringe a bit. It seems everyone is 'nice', 'down to earth' and likes music. I am not sure why I shouldn't be saying exactly what I think, here of all places. After all, I am on this site looking for what I want... who I want... the life I envision, not just for someone who will email me. So here it goes.
If most of your profile pictures feature your tattoos or you draping your body over a motorcycle or muscle car, as much as I'm sure you are fun, you are probably not for me. Glamour shots also freak me out a bit.
Should you be 'in the process' of moving out from with your spouse/ex, I believe that should take priority over me.
If you are from Syracuse New York or Sault Ste. Marie or Bong Tong Somewhereville or anywhere else I am very unlikely to go, I appreciate that you want to chat and I am sure you are fascinating but, frankly, I have lots to do and a long distance relationship really isn't what I am looking for.
If some or many of our conversations will likely revolve around people you have been in previous lives or various people you are currently, I'm a one girl kind of guy.
If your profile sounds a bit like a Susan Powter rant... please stop the insanity.
If your bestest friend is your ex lover and it is somehow my responsibility to get to know him and get along with him, what are you thinking? Honestly, are you kidding me?
If your panties have been on more floors than Johnson's wax, no thank you!!!
If you are carrying, kissing or hugging your dog or cat in ALL of your photos, I don't like to stand between established relationships.
If you are 5' 4" and 190 lbs. you do NOT have an athletic body-style unless you are a Bulgarian Olympic shot putter.
If you have multiple children from different fathers and have marked down "wants children"...YIKES!
If you could likely beat me up, that troubles me deeply.
For those who have listed your profession as "mom" or "student" please step off of the soapbox. Mom (and dad) is an obligation, not a profession and being a student is a privilege. I find it honourable that you have chosen to raise your children full time but it is not a position you can be terminated from, or downsized out of. I have found that nearly all the women I know who are out in the workforce are thoroughly 'professional' moms.
If you are misrepresenting your age (up or down), your appearance, or intentions in any way.... there are thousands of people on this site to play with, hook up with them.
If you are a professional dancer but have never attended a dance school or academy, I'll just see you where I see you.
If you have been abducted by an alien, I believe you, really, but to be on the safe side I am avoiding all freaky cosmic karma.
If more than half of your photos are of you sporting around a gigantic wine glass and you laughing hysterically, please refer back to the dog/cat comment earlier.
If I can't see you on the weekends, because that is when you are serving your sentence, it may be an issue.
If there is the possibility that we should meet and you would need to bring up the conversation that begins with "I am not sure how to say this" or "I suppose you should know this now" let's just avoid that all together.
If you are a little odd, I can work with that. If you are silly, immature, sarcastic and adventurous, we are a go. If you are driven, searching, and into exploring... if you love new ideas and new experiences, have some common sense and want the better things in life, we should chat. I am looking for "the one" not "someone".
As for me? I am the quintessential man-child... I love being a kid but I am most definitely (and sometimes unfortunately) a man. I am neither a sugar daddy nor a bum and I have no desire to become either. I am an entrepreneur and small business owner trying to make some sort of dent in this universe. I have a dream that I am driven to follow and plan to do so for as long as I can. I am not a player, I do not go clubbing, but I can party with the best of them and have been known to do so from time to time (to be honest, I wish I did it much more infrequently than I have). My professional record is thousands-some-infinite. That is to say, I have made thousands of mistakes, had some successes an have infinite potential for more of both. I love my children dearly and will always be deeply grateful for the influence they have had on my life. I am a simple guy who wants great things. There is nothing wrong with happiness, there is nothing wrong with success, and there is nothing wrong with having a great time. It IS possible to have it all.
This is my message to the on-line dating universe.
P.S. Pouty face photos and spray on tans are a bit disturbing. Oh, and the self portrait in the doorway to your bathroom...ewww.
Just trying to keep it real.