1. If you wear jorts, don't talk to me. (jorts=jean shorts)
2. If you wear flip-flops with socks, don't talk to me.
3.If you have a picture up with a woman in it, don't talk to me. (its probably your girlfriend. or your wife.)
4. If you are going to start talking about sex in the first 5 minutes of our conversation, don't talk to me. (southern florida is full of std's and I'm betting you have one of them.)
5. If you have a picture with a kid, don't talk to me. (its probably yours.)
6. If you don't have a car, don't talk to me. (I'm not coming to pick you up.)
7. If you don't have a JOB, then you need to get off plenty of fish and start trying to find one. (Wendys and 7-11 are now accepting applications.)
8. If you don't speak English, then don't talk to me. (I'm not trying to be Rosetta)
9. If you have no intention of moving out of your mother's house until marriage, don't talk to me.
10. If you don't take your aviators of indoors, then don't talk to me. (you are not a celebrity. and yes your sh*tdoes stink.)
11. No, I don't work out all the time, in fact I don't really work out at all. And I'm probably not going to work out with you.
12. If you're divorced, then don't talk to me. (it probably wasn't her.)
13. If you are old enough to be my dad, then don't message me. (unless you are George Clooney, I'm not interested.)
14. If you have a nasty vagina beard, then don't message me.
15. If you have really nice car, but you live in a dump, then don't message me. (priorities people.)
16. If you don't wear deodrant, then don't talk to me. Obviously you're not SURE.
17. If you have stank breath then don't talk to me. Gum and mints are readily available at your local convenience store. Or you can get the multi-pack at Costco.
18. If you wear Jerusalem-cruisers (aka velcro sandals or brown mandals) then don't talk to me. You are not walking through the desert.
19. If you have manboobs then don't talk to me, Victoria isn't keeping your Secret.
20.If your profile education says Graduate degree, when the only thing you graduated from was high school. The profession of car washer gives it away.
21. If the pictures you have posted are from 10 ft away and blurry, then don't talk to me. You obviously don't think you're cute so why would anyone else? Confidence is sexy.