Age: 46
thelastgentlemanleftalive: I'm Here to Make the Cheapskates Look Bad
Non-smoker with Thin body type
Overland park, Kansas
55 year old Man, 6' 3" (191cm), Non-Religious
Caucasian Aries with Blonde hair
thelastgentlemanleftalive Wants a relationship
Some college
Computer Programmer

I am Seeking a Woman For Long term
Needs Test Not Completed Chemistry View his chemistry results
Do you drink? I do not drink Do you want children? No
Marital Status Divorced Do you do drugs? No
Pets Cat Eye Color Hazel
Do you have a car? Yes Do you have children? No
Longest Relationship Over 10 years How ambitious are you? Ambitious

About Me
A man from North Overland Park
Joined a free dating site on a lark
He said with a grin
As he clicked and logged in
“Can’t find love if I stay in the dark…”

But months after he had begun
After many strange dates had been done
At last he realized
The profiles disguised
All the dozens of reasons to RUN

“Sarcastic” and “sassy” (so adorable)
Grammar and spelling (deplorable)
No deep thoughts, in a hurry
Photos distant and blurry
And sometimes an attitude horrible

NASCAR fanatics full throttle
Dogs and more dogs that mind boggle
“I don’t take no bull
and my glass is half full”
(But I can’t seem to crawl out of this bottle)

“I don’t want too heavy or thin
A man comfortable in his own skin!”
Uh – pardon me dear
I don’t mean to sneer
But that saying doesn’t mean anythin’

“I’m fifty, but ADVENTURE’S my game!
Sky divin’, zip-linin’! I’m not lame!
I did all those stunts!
(cough!) …okay, only once…
But I still put those homebodies to shame!”

On the other hand, I heard all their tales
Of rude and disgusting dim males
The selfies no shirt
No flair in their flirt
Three months since they’ve been out of jail

The Harleys, the guns and the beer
Posing so proud with dead deer
Still living with mommy
Photograph that salami!
“I gots a great job at Goodyear…”

I’ve had some success, and I’ve bombed
But throughout it all, I stay calm
I think the obstickle
Is: women are fickle
At least those who are not embalmed

These clothes aren’t so bad that I’m wearin’
But am I so ugly I scare ‘em?
I only need one
One love and I’m done
I’m not trying to start up a harem

I’m smart and I’m cool and I’m funny
And I sure as heck make enough money
New dates are so easy
If one isn’t cheesy
But it’s damn hard to find my LAST honey

“Patience, my son,” said The Voice
“These ladies have got too much choice
Don’t give up, my friend
She’s out there, and when
she finds you, she’ll see no other boys.”

So here I am, why not communicate?
I’m chivalrous, your wish I’ll accommodate
Not stirred, instead shaken
James Bond will be taken
If longer you women procrastinate…

First Date
Ice cream. Short and sweet.

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