Profile reboot. Fast, full-disclosure version. Girl grows up in a small town on the north coast of California. Girl goes to college at SRJC, plays tennis. Girl forges playing at a higher university level to go in the Air Force to pursue physical therapy. Seriously injures dominant (left) shoulder during a field training exercise . A rare injury coupled with nerve damage that takes three years to diagnose, then had 4 major surgeries at Stanford. No more sports, PT and fine motor skills with my dominant hand. I was frustrated and disillusioned. Hurried up and waited in a super-fun holding pattern from Sept ’01 until 2009 while waiting on TDRL and VA comp and pension ratings, wars and bureaucracy. Immediately after my retirement and ratings were complete, my mom fell ill so I moved to Sacramento to take care of her which unexpectedly dragged on four and a half years. Time just slipped away from me. I had to do what was right even at that cost.
Thankfully, she’s better now, I’ve moved. I rehabbed like a mofo, mentally and physically. I’m fully functional (don’t be alarmed lol. ) Now, my emotional baggage is able to rest comfortably in a compact carry-on. I was just too proud /stubborn for years to let anyone in because I didn't want to be a burden/disappointment especially coupled with not knowing when it would end. That is the extent of my potential baggage, no children or violent exes. Surprisingly, my big ‘ol heart thawed out without any bitterness (or freezer burn.) I’m ready to move forward.
If my life is like a cheesy 80’s movie, I’ve finished my music montage of training/getting better/conquering demons and have arrived at my “John Hughes movie” power-ballad clarity moment.
Today, I am strongest, best version of me. I’m creating the life I need and want. The question now is, “What next?”
Wanna go exploring?
I’m excited that I’m about to use my military “retiree” benefits to take Space-A flights. I yearn to go to Travis (or ANY base), jump on a plane to almost ANYWHERE. Explore, write, drink, laugh, read, listen to music, learn, then sleep. Wake up, rinse and repeat. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being at home. I just NEED to go exploring to find “home” within myself for the time being. I was stuck on the sidelines for too long. It would be AMAZING if I could find a man to share that with.
However, the likelihood of that seems marginal at best. Who in the world is going to have a flexible schedule like mine AND/OR have military ID? I don’t expect it, but it would be nice. Maybe putting it out there, might even make it an option :o)
For clarity, each week that I’m not “away,” I spend at least two days a week in each SF, Sacramento and the North Coast for meetings and appointments. So if you’re anywhere west of Redding, south of the Oregon border and yet north of Stockton, I might be in your area. It IS a ton of driving, but for now it is working and I’m happy--so I’m not questioning it. That is, unless someone gives me a reason to...which is probably as easy as making me laugh or getting me think about one of your “theories.”
What I hope for, is a man that doesn't HAVE to carry an umbrella nor is he scared of a little rain and mud. I'm sweet, but I can assure you that I won't melt. I actually enjoy getting rained on sometimes. He’s not a stranger to a tie or to the importance of his family. He isn't a crybaby, smothering or jealous. He does the right thing because it’s the right thing to do even when nobody is watching.
Raiders and Cowboys fans, I am sorry, I just can’t do it. I’m a lifelong Niners fan. I’m perfectly capable of learning new tricks, but giving my heart to a Raiders or Cowboys fan isn’t one I’m willing to learn. I’ve tried. It might just really be better for everyone this way. Conflicting core values? lol Good luck this season though, I respect your fandom, Please respect mine.
If you’ve made it this far then I guess I didn't freak you out or you're a glutton for punishment. Thanks for taking the time to read this. I'd love to find the man that was made for me. Good luck on your search!
***FYI, If it seems like my weight is different in the pictures--it is. The Pro Bowl one was in January 2013 and the other three are from May 2013. I'm toning up like crazy which is good. I just wanted to clarify that I'm moving in a healthier direction. :o)