I party like its 1999. i am americas next top model. i never perspire. my strengths outweigh my weaknesses. i am constantly caller number 9 and win tickets to all the best shows. i bat 400. i have made extraordinary four course meals using only a spatula and a toaster oven. im a stellar hugger and a world class cuddler. i dance with the stars. i consistently beat Chuck Norris in arm-wrestling. i once read paradise lost, the odyssey and war & peace all in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. i shower daily. critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. sushi is my favorite food group. i bake 30 minute brownies in 20 minutes flat. moms love me and children wanna be me. i know the exact location of every item in the supermarket. i always pick the most fullest and symetrical christmas trees. on wednesdays, after practice, i repair electrical appliances free of charge. i eat soup, i'm a go-getta. i sleep once a day. basically...i rock.