Warning: I am very loud, always inappropriate, and never keep my opinions to myself. I am always a smarty-pants. My mind is in the gutter 90% of the time, but that doesn't mean I am here for sex. That just means I am pervert. I don’t care about your religion or political view. I don’t care what God or Gods you believe in. I am not religious. I am, however, a spiritual person who likes to be well informed. I don’t care what political view you may have. They are all crooks with alterative motives or some scandal, but again I like to be well informed. I am not looking for love or a relationship right at this moment and I am not looking for some one night stand. So, now that you have read the warning if you want to continue you may proceed with caution.
I’m a smarty-pants; always have been and it’s more than likely that, that part of my personality won’t change. I never really could grasp the concept of tact; and for that I am brutally honest and seldom think before I speak. It’s one of my fatal flaws. If you’re easily offended just go ahead and proceed to the next chicky. My feelings won’t be hurt, trust me.
If you care about looks I certainly wouldn't describe myself as petite. I am average at best, I uses to be quite a bit bigger. My body isn't perfect, but I have two beautiful boys to show for it. I’m just giving you the facts so if you care or you can't handle that then just keep your comments to yourself and move along.
Now, let’s see…
I am not very girly. I don’t know your definition of “girly,” but I seldom wear dresses, skirts, or high heels. Jeans and a tee-shirts are more my speed. I seldom spend more than five minutes on my hair. I wear make-up on occasion; it’s not a daily routine for me. I don’t care to get dirty or play with bugs; I have two boys I am used to it. By the way you aren't going to meet them. I don't care how good you are with children or how much they like you. I don't introduce my boys to strangers. I am a big kid I’d watch a cartoon over a scary movie any day. I still climb trees. I can still do a cartwheel and when I go to the park I can’t help but go down the slide.
What I am looking for...
Someone I can go out with who can actually hold a conversation. Go figure, what a concept? Really, it’s not that complicated. I’m a realistic person I don’t live in a fantasy world where I am hoping to find my perfect Mr. Right. If you’re perfect I have no chance of living up to your standards. Also, if you are arrogant, self-absorbed, or egotistical don’t consider me up for the challenge of trying to prove to you that I am your match. I am not.
If you send me a message that contains actual words I’ll respond. If you send me a message with text lingo, dialogue, short cuts or acronyms. I’ll simply ignore you for the sheer fact I am not going to take the time to decipher your message. If you can’t muster up more than a few words you can expect to get no more than a one liner response. If you are able to form a few coherent sentences you’ll score more points.
Note if you just send a message with “what’s up?” it’s not going to get a response. If I do respond it would be something along the lines of a weather update. As much as a girl likes to hear how pretty she is… it’s not something that’s going to get more than a “thank you” on my part. Sorry, if I sound rude or ungrateful, but I am looking for someone who can hold a conversation not looks. Looks don’t matter to me. I am looking for a conversation. If, however, you sound like a total hillbilly/ redneck/ thug I am going to enjoy my drink and dismiss myself. Being able to understand you is pretty much a requirement. Plus, it shows some intelligence. I grew up in NC and have pretty much been here my entire life, but I was taught how to speak like I had some sense. I am a dirty blonde with red highlights. If I can walk, talk, chew gum, and breathe at the same time it’s not unreasonable to expect the same in return.
Let's just get this outta the way...Yes I am kinky. No I'm not here for sex. No I'm not looking nor accepting applications for any right side of the dash partner. If however you are a left side who likes to Top and can actually be dominant then cool. We'll probably get along better. Shoot me a message and tell me about yourself. Just honestly looking for conversation with good folks.
I won’t meet you the very next day. It usually takes me a week to warm up and get brave enough to meet the stranger on the other side of the screen. And I won’t meet you at your place. Any meeting will happen in public. I am cautious.
I am usually understanding about things that come up last minute. I schedule things with a pencil, for that particular reason. But if it happens more than once on your end don’t consider me up for “the third time is the charm” meeting. It won’t happen. If we've planned to meet and something has fallen through or if I have time I will see if you have time to meet on a whim...In public of course that rule still stands. If you can't meet it won't count against you.
What I am looking for:
I'm moreless looking for a change of scenery with adult socializing. Conversations are a great place to start. I am not really a big drinker/ party person. If I drink it would be something like a beer, by “a” I really do mean one. I’d really prefer water, tea, or coffee. I love coffee it’s my addiction. So some place quite or with a band is ok with me. I just want to be able to hear you when you speak. I am pretty laid back and willing to go with the flow and try something new.
I like playing “chase the ball,” but if you want to hit a ball in to a pocket I guess you could call it pool. Trust me though it takes more skill to miss every ball on the table and not get anything in to the pocket then it is to aim and score…
I know its cliché, but it's all true. You have to meet new people, have a conversation, and try new things.