The first words that come to mind when describing myself are intense, emotional, sensitive, cerebral, honest, goofy, and hard working. I am a quiet domestic type, but can also be outspoken and opinionated when I feel strongly about something. I love a good, energetic and passionate argument and enjoy people with strong opinions, but soft voices. I have been interested in intentional community, permaculture, green building, and voluntary simplicity for years and have dreamed about homesteading since I was a teenager. I bought land in Virginia in 2004 and gave off grid homesteading my all for 6 years.
I'm a grad student in counseling and recently my life has taken a path very different from my off-grid homesteading and Permaculture days. I don't get out and meet new people much and am trying to meet new people not associated with my small University. I'm 37, and an odd mix of goofy, sassy and gregarious, extremely sensitive and thoughtful, quiet and reserved, active and lazy. ..I had a series of profound life-changing series of events and am now in graduate school studying counseling. I believe I have found my true life's work as a psychotherapist.
i'm an abuse survivor (emotional, neglect) and have done a ton of work on myself; i have made incredible strides towards health and healing since i started therapy in my early 20's i have finally returned to grad school to get my master's and become a therapist, but i still have my struggles. i am very clear about what my issues are, what i need in a relationship and even have a small list to share with u. if ur not a good match we'll know right from the beginning and not waste each other's time.
1) i will not play therapist for damaged women anymore. i am not willing to draw someone out and help them to figure out what they feel and how to express it. i am not willing to help them figure out their problems and help them make sense of their past. as important, needed and helpful that makes me feel i don't think it's healthy for a relationship.
2) i need someone who is going to accept all of me, including my damage and the struggles that come with it. i have a very hard time when the woman i am dating has a "wow, u are such a drag" when i feel down, sad or low-energy. this attitude just makes it worse for me and i feel even worse about not being able to be fun, energetic and "normal"; it's a painful downward spiral when my partner lacks compassion for elements of myself that have not completely healed yet. i have almost come to the conclusion that i need to date a woman who has had a history of abuse or trauma, someone who understands that willing one's self to be happy and normal does not work.
3) if u have had an extended period of time using hard drugs, smoked a lot of pot, or explored casual sex (sex without a relationship/recreational sex) more than once or twice i am not going to feel safe with u. it's a bummer for me since most women have, but i know my sensitivities and what i need. i have tried to ignore these issues in the past and it doesn't work.
To me spirituality begins within. I consider myself to be Jewish even though I am completely secular; I am a student of Buddhism, but am not a Buddhist. I believe that being present is an understated spiritual insight worth much attention. I practice meditation daily and strive to expand my ability to be flexible, non-judgmental, compassionate and present throughout my daily life.
I have a golden retriever and enjoy simple things such cooking and eating well, meditation and yoga, reading, road bicycling, hiking...I have done a lot of different things that are not a part of my life right now, but hope to get back into someday such as beekeeping, horse logging, woodworking, market gardening, orcharding, sculpture, flamenco guitar, skydiving, and on and on. if it can be built i've probably built it...from small projects to shelving and cabinets, furniture, decks, barns and cabins. several winters ago i built my own cedar beehives from wood that i cut from my own land, milled into boards with a portable sawmill and processed....and even made the intricate frames for the hives as well. and cut off the tip of my first finger (no bone) in the process. it's not a stub, just a tiny bit crooked at the end. LOL!
Ideally, I'm looking for a life partner who shares my values and lifestyle goals. I'm open to new friends, but am really looking for a forever relationship. I seem to be the most attracted to strong, independent women with a very kind, sensitive nature.