I asked some friends to describe me with one word. They all said supercalifragilisticexpialidocious... Whatever that means. NOW, about me. I'm always drinking water out of other people's sinks. I make my own pillows with dryer lint. I've created the worlds 984th largest rubber band ball. I'm going to school to be a sex therapist for animals. I was a semi-professional sperm doner for 540 days. I have an abnormally large collection of mismatched left socks and chap stick. I plan on living to be at least 117 years old. My family wanted to know why I want buried and not cremated. Simple question to answer that. Have you ever seen a cremated person turn into a zombie? EXACTLY! Next topic... Like all guys, I enjoy urinating all over everything; you're thinking, "ewww, gross"... Yes, I can read minds. But I would like to get serious for a minute. Why are long walks on the beach "romantic?" Walking in sand is a lot of hard work, then sand gets in your shoes or sticks to your feet, then that sand will need vacuumed out of your car, and you will need to take a bath, then wash the sand out of the bath tub. NOT MY IDEA OF ROMANTIC! You know I'm right! I'm very picky about what I'm looking for, if you aren't over 12 feet tall and 1,554 pounds, don't message me. Unless you think you have some other equally charming qualities. If you like what you are reading, let's get married!