About Me
I asked some friends to describe me with one word. They all said supercalifragilisticexpialidocious... Whatever that means. Finding it hard to take this site serious anymore. With that said, pull up a seat and let me tell you a story. I'm always drinking water out of other people's sinks. I make my own pillows with dryer lint. I've created the worlds 984th largest rubber band ball. I'm going to school to be a sex therapist for animals. I was a semi-professional sperm doner for 540 days. I have an abnormally large collection of mismatched left socks and chapstick. I cry at movies and laugh at death. Speaking of death, my family wanted to know why I want buried and not cremated. Simple question to answer that. Have you ever seen a cremated person turn into a zombie? EXACTLY! Next topic... Like all guys, I enjoy urinating all over everything; you're thinking "ewww, gross"... Yes, I can read minds. But I would like to get serious for a minute. Why are long walks on the beach "romantic"? Walking in sand is a lot of hard work, and when you get sand in your shoes it rubs your feet raw. also not fun! dehydrated, with dry cracked lips, bloody prune feet, sand that will need vacuumed out of your car, carpet and washed out of the bathtub, and too tired to do anything else. NOT MY IDEA OF ROMANTIC! You know I'm right! If beauty is only skin deep; why don't people get cosmetic surgery to remove their skin? I'm very picky about what I'm looking for, if you aren't over 12 feet tall and 1,554 pounds, don't message me. If you like what you are reading, let's get married!