I HATE pics with a passion, but there. Nope, not preggers...my shirt fell funny. Not to mention I just chased a llama. Other is with my kiddo, pic #6,873...she's never met a camera she didn't love (unlike me). **
First things first---> HONESTY. If you tell me one thing and then come walking into the meet as another, do you think I'll over look it? On that same note, if you ask me about tattoo's and I tell you I have none and then you see this GIANT camel tat on my forehead...I'm busted. KIDDING.
You be honest, I'll be honest.
I hope to find someone I want to be with, that I NEED to be with. Someone that already knows what he wants and is just waiting for me to get there. Someone that can be serious but can turn around and make me laugh until it hurts. I'm VERY big on first impressions whether it's emails, text, phone calls, or the first meeting. It's either there or it isn't. I don't want to waste your time or mine. I don't need a bunch of free dinners, I don't need cash for my rent. I don't hook up or just meet someone to see what I can get out of it. I have no need for BS, fluffing, or blowing smoke. I'm too old for all of that.
I'm short, 5'4. Long dark hair, green eyes that can stop you in your tracks. I weigh 135ish, give or take. I make sense. At 43, I can still manage to turn a few heads when I walk into a room. I've never met a stranger in my life, and I've been known to flirt with men, women, children, pets and coffee tables. Ok, maybe not a coffee table, but you see where this is going. Your mother will want me at Sunday dinner, your kids will think I'm fun and your buddies will want you to bring me to poker night.
I smoke daily and if I'm out with friends, I'll have a drink or 2 or 3 or 4. Kidding.
I clean up well but jeans and a tee are the norm. We can go to a flea market in the morning and the opera that night. No we can't, I hate opera. You get the point. I also recently obtained my on-line degree from the School of Smartass, Top of the Class at that. So it's a given... I love to laugh, I need to laugh, I MUST laugh. "If we ain't laughin' we ain't nuttin'."
***DID I MENTION I SMOKE?? Don't expect me not to because I'm out with you. Nor should you expect me to quit after a few dates just because things go well. I promise I won't make you START smoking just because I do.
You get me how you find me. Changing me is not an option. I won't try to change you either.
If you hit yes in the "meet me" section, you must live in the DFW area. If lunches need to be packed for the drive...it's not happening.
Last but not least, I DO NOT date outside my race nor do I date "seperated". I also like to wear heels on occasion, and I LOVE when I need to stand on my tip-toes to kiss. So let's go with you being at least 5'9-5'10 and up, to my 5'4. Again, I don't wanna waste your time or mine.
*** MY idea of a GREAT first date...one word...WALMART. We can meet in the parking lot with our engines running and get high on carbon monoxide fumes. If we like each other we can do the following...
*Find elderly couples and sneak condoms and pregnancy tests into thier carts when they look the other way
*Stand next to the door greeters and yell WELCOME TO CICI'S at people as they enter
*Set up at table at entrance doors and sell cookies like Girl Scouts do...only with Oreo's and Chips Ahoy
*Stand behind random shoppers and when they pick something up yell WOW! NOW THATS A LOW PRICE
*Remove "tester" stickers from perfume bottles and stick them on boxes of condoms
*Go to toy section and arm ourselves with medicine balls and start a game of dodge ball with the "associates"
*Dart around aisle suspiciously humming the theme from Mission Impossible
*Sit in the electronics section on lawn chairs eating popcorn and drinking a beer
*Follow people around with walkie talkies and everytime they pick up an item say the name of it in radio
*Pick out a box of condoms then ask an associate where the fitting rooms are
*Start a game of Tag or Marco Polo while running between aisles
*Sit in dressing rooms and wave hand under the door and announce there is no toilet paper
Does this profile make my butt look big?
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