I have a job and a car. I hope to further my career and maybe go into engineering. But who knows maybe I'll just change it all together.
I've been really trying to increase my photography skills. I like camping but not so much in camp grounds. I hope to do some big multi-day hikes this summer. I also want to do some deep sea fishing, ya know like catch something that puts up a fight. I want to sky dive for the first time, I have all kinds of adventures I want to do.
When I start to fall for a girl I lose my sense of self. I can't ever seem to focus, I fumble for words and find it difficult to pronounciate (not a word) even the simplest of words. My brain enters this panic mode and then the doubt begins to set in. Most of the time I don't make it past that point. Instead I will go out of my way to seclude myself, to hide in a fashion. (Hey not if I really want it though)
Part of the reason for this "fear" is the type of women I seek out. They have to be so beautiful that they intimidate me with their presence alone. The weird thing is I hate and love this feeling at the same time. I am told that this way of thinking is shallow and wrong. For me its the spark that ignites my heart. If I am fortunate enough I can convince them to at least like me. I have known love and it is a feeling indescribable. Ha, but I will try.
Love is amazing and all encompassing. It controls and directs your life. Love as I understand it, love in examples not definition. I wake up in a bed next to a woman and I look at her bedraggled self with no make-up, I think to myself "so beautiful" ...content. When I'm not around her she dominates my thoughts, mood and social ability. When I am around her its true bliss. We could be in the playboy mansion and still no matter what, she is still the most beautiful gal in the room. We'd never run out of things to talk about. Every day would be like a brand know adventure and the possibilities are without limit. That is somewhat a small example be oh well.
Chivalry and manners are not gone. It's true that people for the most part don't care enough to try. Honor is the real scarce one. If you have read this far, you can tell that i'm a lil' shy but oh well. It hasn't stopped me from being in long relationships and really has not been much of a hindrance to me. It makes me less of a tool or douche than others. I'm not a player, as much as I would like to think I am. These have been the words of a dreamer who will never settle, nothing is too good for me or out of my league. League'ism is just a state of mind people create and it just dumbs us all down. Okay ladies that's enough rambling, I'll just leave off with one more thing. Never forget your dreams, I've encountered quite a few who have. And it's sad.