This online dating is all so weird to me. A friend told me to give this a shot, so here I am. Not expecting much and already starting to have my doubts. I hate filling these things out. Not sure what to put. Ok, well here goes...
I work hard and play hard. I'm looking for a REAL woman! I'm not on here looking for a hookup! If that's all I wanted then I wouldn't be wasting my time on this joke they call a dating site, that's for sure, lolz! So if you're just looking for a booty call, look elsewhere. That's what craigslist and tinder are for! I'm not a piece of meat! I'm so sick and tired of messages filling up my inbox with offers for sex! Is that all you women think about?! Also if you are going to send me a message, please say more than "Hi" or "You're sexy". Those messages are dumb, unoriginal and boring and will be insta-trashed and I will insta-block you, I swear! At least the women that send the sex offers go into great detail with their requests. Don't get me wrong, those are still appalling and gross and still get trashed but at least they are somewhat entertaining. If you contact me, then you need to come correct. Please show me you're not like the rest and that you have more than 2 brain cells to rub together! I don't want to see any shirtless pics either! Those are very trashy and unladylike! Show some decency for christ's sake! No bathroom selfies either, just lame. Also, if you still have babydaddy issues or a crazy ex then keep walkin. I don't deal very well with drama. Ain't nobody got time fuh dat!
Oh yeah, just incase you didn't know, I am an independent man! Not looking for a sugarmomma, thanks. But don't get it twisted. You still better have a job, a vehicle and not live with your parents! I mean, is that REALLY too much to ask?
bad breath (if you smoke then don't even try)
mint in any kind of food
*want to know more just ask*
*just a bit of satire may or may not have been used in the making of this profile ;)
Well if you are lucky enough to even make it to a first date with me then it should be obvious that it won't be at my place OR yours! I have to protect myself in case you try to pull a move. Instead, maybe we could start out with a coffee somewhere and then go for a short walk on the beach. What? There's no beach in Pennsylvania? Ok, then we'll go for a walk by the river. Oh, there's canadian goose poop everywhere? Fine, let's just walk a few laps inside of Wal-Mart and call it a day.