SWM in dead-end job seeks dumpy neurotic for mutual psychological torture, tepid sex, and co-dependency. I enjoy drinking, smoking, pornography, and self-righteous indignation.
I can't stand movies, and the last album I bought was The Marshall Tucker Band's Greatest Hits. I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless facts, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes.
I'm near 40, but look 50 and feel 60. You are a whiny, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. In time you will become coolly hostile when I don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had. Bonus points if you just finished screwing every guy in town and but now want to take it slow with me.
My perfect night would include getting hammered in a sleazy bar while you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by an embarrassing screaming match. I would be open to an unsatisfying fling that leaves me filled with regret and dread but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into booze and pills. No friendships pls. Age unimportant, but I will condescend to women under 30 and rehash mother issues with women over 40.
Serious inquiries apply within........
P.S. if u stuck it out all the way through this profile i hope you laughed as hard as i did when I saw it & enjoyed it too...lol ;) Now for some more (for real though haha): no I am not an alcoholic and no I don't use drugs. As well I kinda always thought it was shallow to make a laundry list of "requirements" for someone to even earn your conversation in return (which btw in reality it is kinda arrogant to be that way) but i have sadly found it somewhat necessary to at least list some desired standards I am aiming toward. No I am not expecting a model......nor do I really wish to find one however I just have to admit that I am not 'physically' attracted to obesity. And let's get a little more realistic about the term 'average'.........5'0 and 225lbs is not 'average'. The scale is not based off your family average nor the american mcdonald addicts perception. I so honestly hate to have to actually say that but seriously........ I recognize I am below the norm for a guy but I am quite toned under the disquise of clothes yet I am still 'thin'. You don't see me even going as far as saying 'althetic. Obviously peoples beliefs when they hear 'athletic' (I would assume) is more along the lines of perhaps an average weight (according to the medical world) guy with some noted upper body muscle mass. HOWEVER in NO way am I saying or suggesting that I will not talk or hang out with somebody larger I am just being open upfront and saying there is a HIGH possibility I will not have a sexual attraction/interest! Oh and woman say this kinda crap (expectations) all the time to filter out the old creepy unkept unemployed pediphiles glooming around on this site begging for free nude pics and desperate woman cause they are too cheap to just rent it from cox cable so don't be rude or hateful to me about it!!! Other than all that prior I don't care what race, religion (other then j-witness), short, tall, single, divorced, college or h.s. education, kids or not. Just do your best to have a similar sense of humor with the ability to 'burn' my ass back lol and for heavens sake give it ur best as well to possess most of your original teeth that wont give out over a dinner biscuit!!
"IF WE'RE EVER GONNA SEE A RAINBOW, WE HAVE TO STAND A LITTLE RAIN" .......... I LOVE THAT SONG!
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
Maybe we can go to the library and rearrange the books in reverse alphabetical order........