***ATTN: SEEKING A FALL GIRLFRIEND***
Labor Day has passed and I'm saying goodbye to the warm weather by filtering out my casual summer hookups and finding a woman I can stand being sober around.
I'm looking for a fall girlfriend who will partake in the following activities with me; cuddling during upcoming cold nights, watching football, basketball, and the new TV lineup over libations, picking out fresh to death autumn & winter clothes to rock at holiday parties, and sharing a NYE kiss that will make my lips quiver more than the cold, brisk winter air.
Needed: A woman interested in something steady/serious-ish from now until V-Neck weather returns (usually around St. Patrick's Day, but we can still totally hit the bars together and get wasted on green beer). Interested parties should have a clean place of their own with a comfortable bed, big screen TV, deluxe cable package, and cabinets stocked with scotch, bourbon, whiskey, and anything other liquor to warm me up on a frigid NY night.
-A chill group of female friends. I don't want to hear about your girlfriend drama.
-A great sense of humor (an acerbic wit is preferred, but not required).
-A fresh to death wardrobe. There is nothing sexier than a woman who knows how to dress and accessorize during the fall & winter.
-A place for me to crash at 7 nights a week if I desire, filled with many bright lightbulbs.
-Reliable transportation to bring me back to said residence after a day or night of hard autumn drinking.
-Able to deal with my bitterness towards days becoming much shorter during the colder months.
-Isn't in love with the pumpkin flavor phenomenon in the autumn. Some pumpkin flavored foods and drinks are fine, but if you're obsessed, you need not apply.
-No psycho ex-boyfriends.
Other Activities May Include:
-Raging at concerts
-Taking selfies and pics of tasty fall cuisine
-Discussing a variety of topics such as the merits of being an American to Linear Time vs Cyclical Time
-Laughing a lot
SERIOUS APPLICANTS ONLY
I look forward to meeting you!!
I have a full-time job in corporate sales and run a small media business on the side. I'm extremely busy, but will make time for someone who is worthwhile. I love to make people laugh and I pride myself on being direct and to the point.