Please don't message me in Russian. I really hate that.
For the record, my mom says I'm a keeper. And by keeper, I suspect she means kept in a closet. But that is beside the point.
For the girls out there who are actually going to read this, here are some intriguing facts.
1. I am single. Never married and have no children. So far, so good, right?
2. I really hate feet. If I can actually touch your feet, it probably means I love you. (This explains my love for shoes)
3. I'm pretty mean in the laundry room. Seriously, that's where I beat people up.
4. Am I trying to get in your pants? Hell no. You know how stupid I'd look in a pair of woman's pants?
5. On a serious note, I love hockey. and Spider-Man. (Nerdy, athletic girls apply with-in)
6. I have 2 tattoos. Or do I? (That's what we call a cliffhanger)
7. Can I hold an intelligent conversation? Ummm. Like, totally...
8. There is an ounce of truth in everything I say. (Except when I'm lying)
9. I tend to wear clothes. But I am comfortable in my own skin.
10. I won't go out with a girl who does drugs. Unless, of course, they have really good drugs and she's willing to share! KIDDING! Drugs are bad. Don't do them.
11. The last guy who sent you a message secretly dresses in drag, I already know this. That is why you didn't respond. Makes sense.
12. I am the last guy on Earth that doesn't secretly dress in drag. That is why you should message me.
13. Bad grammor really bugs me. That's why I always use cpell checker.
14. Don't try and get me drunk and take advantage of me. No matter how hard you try, I don't have sex on the first date. But if we're not actually dating, then it might be OK.
15. When it comes right down to it, I know what I want and have a pretty good idea of where my life is headed. I'm not interested in playing head games and drama. Ideally, I'd like to find someone in the same situation or, at least, someone who has the same outlook. On the bright side, I'm better looking in person, I'm not afraid of commitment and I can be quite fun. I'm firstly interested in friendship, and if anything develops, I won't be one to object. I'm a laid back guy and easy to get along with. I'm all for going out, or just sitting at home and watching movies. Who doesn't like that? I love hockey. The ice is my second, if not first, home. Everything is forgotten out there. It's my sanctuary. I love my family, and I hate to say it, but you'd be subject to their approval. Sorry. Don't worry though, my family is pretty cool. The only girl they didn't like was that dominatrix I brought over for last years Christmas dinner. Big mistake.
There you go; 15 indulging, interesting and correctly spelled reason to contact me.
I made this profile to talk to one girl in particular. If you know her, tell her to contact me (who knows, maybe it's you). There is a "Message Me Now" button under all this. I'm assuming you know how to use it. And you can calm down. I've been joking with you (for the most part). So, stop stalking, and start talking.
Girls always seem to put surprise me. So that's what I'm going to put.... "Surprise me"
On a side note: who says it has to be a "first date" to see if there is "chemistry"? If you're looking for chemistry we can just mix vinegar and baking soda in my old grade 7 science project! Bam! Instant chemistry every date.