Ok I'm about ready to throw in the towel, my search for Mr Normal & a Relationship has become exhausting & dripping with disappointment!
Ok, so after several emails from various men, I’ve decided to re-write my profile. I understand that you just cant please everyone, all of the time! But apparently I didnt express myself well.. One would assume these are "no brainer" concepts, BUT... There's clearly a lack of chlorine in the gene pool... So here goes…
In a perfect world, THIS is how it should work…
1. You stumble upon my profile (Or I stumble upon yours)
2. We exchange a few messages and there’s a mutual interest
3. We exchange Phone Numbers (yes, OMG, I’m serious!)
4. We exchange a few (like 2 or 3) more photos (This assures you that I truly look like my photos and I didn’t steal them from someone else, I’m not really 20 years older in person, and I shower frequently). NOW, when I say a few pictures, I am expecting that these are NEW photos, OTHER than what is in your profile! NOT NAKED PHOTOS!!! I’m not looking to send you any Nude Photos either, SO DON’T EVEN ASK! I expect that you are capable of taking a photo of yourself. You are, after all, ON A CELL PHONE! Getting a reply, “I don’t take selfies” is like saying, “I’m a hideous slug, no one wants to see me, and I don’t even want to look at myself in a mirror long enough, to show you just how nasty I am.” Telling me several times, “I didn’t shower yet” also doesn’t earn you any points. So, I expect that since you shower & shave multiple times a week, you are capable of snapping & sending a NEW picture without excuses!
5. If we still are interested after say, a week or two of this phone banter, we will arrange a time & place to meet. (This step is usually the hardest as the majority of 'contenders' have violated the previous steps in one way or another)
That is what I deem, NORMAL EXPECTATIONS OF DATING! I do not think its normal to spend days & weeks & months sending messages back and forth, through this system. If you are single, send a #, if you dont, i will assume you are married!
If you don’t like me after you gave me your number, be honest & say so. I will stop texting you. Im not a nutjob! If I find you annoying, rude, and unattractive, I will let you know “I’m NOT interested!” I will also use the BLOCK feature lol.
I WILL NOT be your phone buddy, if you have no intent on meeting & hanging out, DO NOT MESSAGE ME! I’m a busy person, I have a life of my own, and I’m NOT going to entertain you on the phone, MORNING, NOON, & NIGHT. If you want to chat, watch movies, play cards/darts/pool get your ass in the car & come hang out with me!
So you can walk away from this thinking 1 of 2 things....
1) Wow she is a super **** who is jaded & bitter! (which is what I’ve been accused of lately)
2) NICE! Finally someone NORMAL!! She’s (brutally) honest, intelligent, independent, hard working, driven, knows what she wants, and values her time!
List of Turn Offs:
** Excessive Facial & Body Hair
** Bad Breath & Poor Hygiene (Dear God, if you’re meeting someone, BRUSH YOUR TEETH!!! WTF)
** Chronic Masterbaters (Don’t beg me for pics and an Itinerary of what we’d do in bed, find other masturbation material online, I’m NOT interested!)
**I'm not attracted to old obese bald men or older men, sorry.
** Sending me nude pix! Nothing repulses me more, than opening up my phone to someone's exposed genitals! It's the fastest way to get yourself ignored! I work in health care, I see naked all day long, Im programmed to tune it out. When I want to relax, I don't want that sh*t shoved in my face! If you feel the need to show it off, you clearly need to compensate for lack of performance!
WOW... Ok, since there isn't any screening process on here, and anyone can make a profile... I need to add one more "given!"
I am NOT perfect, not the thinnest, or hottest, or most desirable person on the planet. I make no claims to be, nor do I expect to find perfection! What I do expect is MUTUAL interest, MUTUAL chemistry, and MUTUAL physical attraction. If I'm not attracted to you, I'm going to let you know, I'm not feeling it. I would appreciate it, If you could handle rejection like a normal human being!! There is no reason to call me names, insult me, or threaten me, just because I'm not attracted to you!!! Dear god, do you know how many men have told me I'm NOT their type!?!? Too many to keep track, but, did I threaten to sodomize their pets & slit their tires... NO!!! WTF!?!? I swear, It's like a bad train wreck that I just can't pull myself away from... Please, all I ask is that you be normal!! Under 45!!! You don't have to be built like Shamar Moore (but you'd earn bonus points if you were) but I do expect that you're fit enough, that you can climb a flight of stairs without an inhaler, without clutching your chest, and without the need for a nap afterwards! Ok rant over!