I am very close to being done with this online dating craziness. However, before I leave, I figure it might just be an opportunity to have some writing fun. Perhaps I should have waited to be in a better mood. Oh well. So here goes.
Note: If you
a) don't know any reference to monty hall and "let's make a deal", and
b) have no desire to "google" it or don't know what "google it" means, or
c) have no patience to read any further,
then thanks for stopping by, but please move on to the next profile, and best of luck to you and happy fishing. Similarly, if you find any of this distasteful in any way, then good luck, happy fishing, blah blah blah.
And now, for those still here...
WELCOME to Let's Make a Deal.
[fade in lights]
Behind door #1 is the guy you say you might be saying you aren't looking for. Let's meet him now
Hi. I don't say much in my profile because I don't have much to say, and because all that really matters are these cool shots of my topless self in my bathroom mirror. I mostly drink, work out, and hang with my buds. I ride. I hunt and fish. I live for the sun, and aspire to become a piece of leather one day. I am my car. Don't I look cool in that picture I took of myself in my car? And on my bike? I sponge off others. Of course, I expect you to be super hot. I don't care about anything you have to say, but I will never actually say so. A perfect date would be holding hands as we take a long walk on the beach, while I simultaneously work out and look at myself in a mirror. Rock on.
Behind door #2 is Me.
Integrity is very important to me. As are respect, truth, sincerity, and humor..
I like to sleep late. I enjoy cold weather tons more than hot weather. So why am I still here in Florida? Good question.
The hair I have is brown. I wish I had more because, unfortunately for me, I think people care about that, no matter what they say.
I know a lot of people, but have relatively few friends.
I am a nice guy, and quiet until I open up. Then stand back, and hopefully enjoy. I can carry on a conversation on just about any topic, though there are topics I avoid. That tends to be context dependent.
I can be funny if you "get" me. Not sure how long it takes to "get" me.
I have no close family, neither physically nor emotionally. I miss my mom.
I am fluent in several languages. However, they are programming languages. Why is that now less cool?
I enjoy movies, but I don't watch them often, and I don't know why. And the movies I do like are typically "unusual", eg Mulholland Drive. I have not seen Avatar, and really have no interest, although I am sure I will eventually see it. I don't "get" the current vampire craze either.
I enjoy coming home to my dogs. A lot. There's that old saying -- the more people I meet, the more I love my dogs. Just adopted my 3rd pack member.
Recently joined the Board of a local contemporary dance company. I found a way to enjoy and contribute without having to dance myself!
I don't get angry. Probably not healthy for me. I used to get angry, and be very critical. One day I realized that I didn't like that guy.
I like to drive. I don't like the telephone. Speaking with someone without seeing their expressions makes me uncomfortable. This is probably a reflection of my own insecurities. Email is fine -- at least it gives you a chance to respond on your own schedule. In any case, face to face is the way to go.
I still feel like a kid. Not really thrilled about growing up. I often ask simple questions about seemingly ordinary things, eg "why?". Some look at me funny when I do that.
I really like peaches and cherries.
Q: Why do so many people have photos of themselves taken by themselves? Don't folks appear in photos taken by others anymore? And what is the story with the seemingly obligatory self portraits while behind the wheel? Please, oh please, fill me in.
All I need is quiet time at home, or time with my "kids" dog park'in, strolling about town, conversation, a fine meal out or in (I prefer dine in over take out), maybe some wine or fine scotch. Broadway shows, contemporary dance, spoken word, movies. Day trips. College ice hockey and lacrosse. I want to learn electric guitar.
I enjoy strolling on Park Ave, relaxing curbside at PPG or one of the Wine bars. Used to enjoy Downtown Disney, but haven't been there for a while. Love being at the Ocean or Gulf, but not sitting on the beach. Upstate NY in the Finger Lakes. A hot toddy at a ski lodge.
Lately I've enjoy listening to Adele, Duffy, Lily Allen, The Ting Tings, Gabriella Cilmi, Amy MacDonald. Tossed Brighthouse, so rarely watch TV, but when I do it is usually sitcom reruns -- King of Queens, Seinfeld, South Park, Family Guy.
This is a bit embarrassing - my reading of late has been a bunch of tech manuals. I'll spare you the names of the books. On the plus side, it really helps me sleep! I also read articles online, and random wikipedia entries.
I think you know who you are.
Descriptive words that come to mind -- confidence, integrity, truth, sincerity, humor. Sound familiar?
You might have tattoos, you might ride a hog, you might fish, and enjoy the beach a lot. I don't, but that's ok.
Oh, and please please please be consistent. For example, don't say that you want to meet someone who shares your interests, but then not list any interests! Are you saying you want someone who has equally no interests? Or are you kidding yourself, and actually care little about shared interests? If interests really don't matter, and all you want is a beefcake, then be honest with yourself and go get your beefcake. It is perfectly fine -- everybody should get what he or she wants in life (of course, as long as you don't hurt anyone to get there).
If you've gotten this far, perhaps we should learn more about each other. Thanks for listening!
Oh, and a rule or two:
If you send me one of those "want to meet me" messages, Thank You so much for the thought but, if you wish for me to respond, then please send me an email. I actually think that the "want to meet" feature is purely a ploy by the POF rulers to try to keep you in the game. Oh, and ditto for "favorite"-ing me.
Perhaps we'll talk soon.
Why do you think there is no door #3?
What would you wear when attending the show?
If you were to wear a costume, would you come individually costumed, or would you come as a costumed couple?
Thanks for making it all th