Pfft... This is bunk. I never thought it would come to this. The internet... Here goes nothing... Drumroll please...
Let's hope that charm and wit. Beat out clear heels and a boob job. Meeting you guys in the wild is difficult because of work, my own social awkwardness, and for some reason you guys don't approach me often enough. 24 year old boys, reeking of vodka,in the mall at noon, with blood all over their faces and drug paraphernalia around their necks don't count.
Sigh.... I'm not very good with talking about all of my positive attributes. I feel like a pushy used car salesman. "This one's a beaut'! Well maintained, low kilometers, all original parts, beautiful interior. Etc, etc...
The funny thing is. I'm a great woman with all of my own teeth. I am employed at a job that not only allows me to pay my bills but, I love the work I do too. I have reached a point in my life where I've decided I need a partner to share my life with. I'm not looking to be your Tuesday night booty call, nor will I come to your house and sit on your face, just because I gave you my phone number.
I will however make you laugh till you cry and maybe shoot whatever you might be drinking out your nose. smile when you're sad and I make the best Shepherd's pie you'll ever eat. I have never thrown spoons at any of my lovers, nor pots, pans or any other household item.
I'm looking for a guy who can laugh at himself. Has his sh*t together. Who is happy with his life as it is and wants to share it. I have my emotional baggage down to a carry on and I would expect my potential partner to be the same in that respect. I'm hoping to find a guy to go on some adventures with me.
Prrrtbblllttt..... It's slim pickin's out there in POF land. I'm willing to entertain having beers with any guy who is somewhere between Momma's boy and snuff film maker.
There are a few things that I am NOT looking for and if any of these things apply to you please accept my apology. They go as follows;
1. You live with either of your parents.
2. You are under 34 years old. (I'm not ready to be a cougar)
3. You have a football team of kids and/or have maintenance payments so high you have noting left to live on.
4. You are going through a messy divorce.
5. You have a financially crippling drug habit.
I know this sounds picky. I feel that I bring a lot to the table. I want a fresh start with someone. Who has an unencumbered life. All of the things I wrote above get in the way of my goal of finding a serious relationship. I love kids but being in a relationship with someone who already has his own soccer team just does not appeal to me.
I have a french bulldog/boston terrier cross named Charlie. He is my sidekick, the muffin of the world, my baby, shares my bed and goes just about everywhere with me. I'm hoping that you guys like animals because he's with me for the duration.
I'd like to mention that I LOVE going to live shows. If any of you want a fun easy going partner in crime. Then look no further! I'm not expecting you to buy my ticket. I already have mine. Also if you know of any good bands coming to town and want to share the info. Lay it on me.
** Side note.... I believe that you get what you put in. If you have little or nothing written in your profile, send one word messages. Then chances are, I will not reply.**
Oh and I hate the chat thing. It sucks bobo.
I don't use the "meet me" or "my matches" nor am I a fan of the "top prospects" addition. The proof is in the pudding. Not much can be told via email about who is compatible until people are face to face,
I was thinking that it would be great to have to play Scrabble or some other game before anyone could meet in person. I'd like to ensure that the guy I'm meeting isn't dumber than a bag of hammers, with a misspelled tattoo. Lol!
Thanks for looking at my profile. I wish you all the best of luck. Nothing ventured nothing gained right?
Well since this is the internet... I guess a public place would be preferable... I'm not convinced that one of you isn't a serial killer, wanting to make my skin into a coat. I'll be checking pockets for roofies and rope.