I am not interested in being someones occasional "hook up". I am not here to get YOU off, I am here because I would like to find someone to date, to see if there is someone that connects well with me.. to build some sort of relationship beyond the bedroom. Make sense? Otherwise, leave me alone please. I would like to find a man with similar interests, great sense of humor... qualities like integrity, etc etc etc. i would like to go do "things", walks, talks, movies, travel, etc.... not looking for marriage necessarily... just looking for monagamous relationship. I work, make my own money, not looking for yours (you can buy me a ferrari if you insist, however!..... red please:))
I love to cook, love wine, shopping, .being outdoors, being indoors, water, trying new things, work in the yard.. have fun.. and yeah.. sex is great... agreed. NOT going to happen date 1.... date 2.... etc..........
i like the survery under first date.. i saw that somewhere, and stole it... thought i was hilarious.... ok.. another point.. YOU MUST HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR "_
i have a family... i love them. you have a family.. i hope you love them. i am not giving up my family for your family...and vice versa.. duhhhhh... end of that particular discussion...
I have had a painful breakup and crazy ex (or ex's), i am sure you may have as well. Of course we are all cautious! we should be. I can be just as bat sh*tcrazy as the next chick... but i will tell you up front what makes me that way.... Lying. yep that's it. hey, if you want to date 7 girls and a goat at the same time... just let me know.. let me decide, do not decide for me. Okay one more thing.... if we ever have sex? i am going to become territorial...or if I see you with someone else. JUST LIKE YOU WOULD (i hope). Just putting that out there:) you know... to prevent, unnecesary future restraining orders and such..
Being totally honest here, (would you want it any other way?) I am tall.. i prefer men 6 foot or taller.. but at least 5' 10.. i like heels and i don't want to tower. I don't want to feel like Sheena the Amazon Princess. ok next. I look pretty good for 54, but i do not have chiseled abs.. lets be real.. i look pretty good.. but not Christi brinkley... let's be realistic.
Politics: I am a conservative. Yes! I support President Trump. Yes i voted for him. NOOOOOOOOOO do not send me a message to heckle me.. just pass me by if you aren't of the same mindset.
Religion: I am Christian... protestant to be more specific, yes it matters.
Music: Classic Rock (i do not like Zepplin.. please don't hate me.. i just don't like them), New Country, NO RAP (since it isn't music)
Pets: I love animals better than most people. I have a cat... NO i will not get rid of my cat for you.
***if you have no picture, i will not respond. please have pictures that are not just sunglasses and hats... i can't see you. i won't answer.
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
stole this from someone else.. but anyway.. prior to first date....
Thank you for your interest. A $10 processing fee may be imposed for incomplete or illegible applications.
Applicant's First Name______________ Applicant's Nickname(s) _____________
Please state specific reason(s) for your last breakup: (Attach additional page if necessary)
Has a restraining order ever been filed against you?
Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
Have you ever been married?
If yes, how many times?
Are you currently married?
Have you ever undergone sexual reassignment surgery?
Are you currently taking any medications?
Do you wax, shave, or pluck other regions of your body?
Do you tan?
Do you partake of recreation drugs? Which ones and how often?
Do you smoke cigarettes/cigars/chew?
How many drinks do you consume on average on a weeknight?
How many drinks do you consume on average on a weekend?
What time do you wake up on weekends?
Which side of the bed do you prefer to sleep? How much time do you spend looking in the mirror per day?
Does it take you longer than fifteen minutes to get ready?
How many psycho exes do you have?
How many exes are you still hooking up with? Do you have any sexual dysfunctions? Do things "work"?
Is there a friends wife you would be with if your friend were to die?
Are you missing any body parts? (arms, eyes, legs, etc...)
How many one night stands have you had in the last six months? 6 weeks? 6 days?
Please specify all fetishes in detail.
Are you a giver (and not necessarily in the financial sense)?
Check applicable sleep conditions:
___ sleep apnea
____other uncontrollable bodily functions
Have you ever dated any of my friends or family members?
Have you ever been suspected of cheating on a former girlfriend? wife?
Do you own cats? dogs?
Any cruelty to animal charges?
Do you like garlic?
Do you have children?
Do you like children?
Do you live alone or with your mother?
Do you have a good relationship with your father? mother?
Are you prone to mood swings or currently taking medication for such?
Do you consider yourself a "Lone Wolf"?
Can you tolerate the company of the same person more than 1 day at a time?
What is your preferred mode of communication?
___ Smoke signal
____social networking site
Describe your perfect first date.
I ATTEST THAT THESE ANSWERS ARE TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF PERJURY. X_____________________________________
Yes this is meant to be funny. But seriously... Fill it out already! ;)