I’m a small business owner from Winnipeg (born and raised), love this city but also love getting out of it as often as possible. I like being outdoors and hanging out with friends and family but I am also a bit of a homebody. That doesn’t mean I don’t like to go out, it’s just really hard to beat a bottle of wine, a good movie (no chick flicks!) and cuddles on the couch.
If a night on the town’s in order I’d suggest Rumors, drinks on a patio, trying out a new restaurant or checking out some live music.
I'm dying to do some more travelling, I’ve been to Cuba and central Mexico, the former for the beach and the latter as part of a student exchange program.
To be honest I’ve met a lot (too many) of…let’s call them unsavory folk on this website so if I come off sort of blunt or maybe even skeptical I’m probably just trying to figure out how big of a weirdo you are. A little weird is good, required even. A lot of weird is …no...just no.
If you are plagued by any of the following I'm just not gonna be that into you, yea I know some of it's shallow but if I may use one of my most hated phrases:it is what it is.
Unemployed/underemployed. Seriously, get a job.
Missing teeth. Seriously, go to the dentist.
Fedoras and misc stupid hats, this includes flat brimmed ball caps. You're not Don Draper and no one likes a wankster (its like a hipster/w***** hybrid creature, if you see one of these just throw some skinny jeans and ironic eyewear at them and back away slowly).
Spitting. I refuse to believe it's necessary for you to spit all the god damned time unless your mouth is hanging open all the time and bugs are flying in.
Ill fitting pants, you guessed it-this includes skinny jeans.
Long beards. Unless you're a Robertson just don't. Beards are actually hot but if i can braid it and drag you around by it, it's time for a trim.
Cell phone addicts. Just pay attention to the people around you! you're being rude and lame! and for the love of god don't hook it onto your belt.
Road rage. Just calm the eff down.
And now here's some things I like. Maybe you like some of these things too? Maybe we could like them in close proximity to each other?
Tattoos. Don't have any yet, but I have some ideas just need to find an artist/shop...hey that would be a memorable date
Flannel plaid pajama pants. Not on me, on you.
Dimples. 10 points for every dimple you have, 50 bonus points for a chin dimple.
Buzzed heads and goatees. And beards, mmm beards.
Cologne. Careful, less is more.
Hugs. Better be long and better be strong, put some squeeze in it! I'm not gonna break
Extended fits of laughing, until we're crying and snorting and our cheeks hurt
Water wrestling. Whoever doesn't drown wins!
Relocating spiders. Again not me, you.
All night/late night conversations. I generally can't have an engrossing conversation before 5pm.
Potty mouths. Within reason, no need to use the word **** as a comma.
Ambition and/or passion. There's gotta be something that gets your juices flowing, I don't care if it's your dog, your truck or your lego collection, but I really hope its not your 32 straight hours of video games record...
In the next five years I would like to say that I own my own home, I have at least one dog (named loki or lulu), I have been to Ireland, Greece, or France and Vegas and several beach/resort winter holiday destinations.
Uh oh some of my baggage is about to show. Whatever, everyone has baggage but I try my best to be diligent in not punishing others for the sins of those who came before you so I feel compelled to say that if banging a 'big' girl is sort of a novelty to you (you've heard we're great in bed- and yea, it's true) and you're looking to check it off of your bucket/fukit list just keep looking alright? In fact, do the world a favour and drink a bottle of bleach or something (ouch that was harsh, eh? well if you were into me up until I said that and it offended you just know that you don't have to tell me how you feel about someone drinking a bottle of bleach, it's a joke and if you are that easily offended then you should drink a bottle of bleach too).
Yes, I know this profile is really long. But if you've made it this far and cracked at least 1/2 a smile you've passed my first two tests: 1. you can read 2. you have a sense of humour .
Oh one more thing, no job? No car? No place of your own? No problem!- said no woman, ever.