My friends have always appreciated my knack for telling it how it is. I'm an open book - been and done many things over the years. Don't ask if you don't want to know. If you do ask, don't judge me on my past. Accept it and understand I am who I am now because of what I learned. Henry Rollins said 'knowledge without mileage is bull$h!t' and I couldn't agree more. I seem to intimidate a lot of people at first, but if they can get past that and actually talk to me, they find out I'm actually a bit of a teddy bear - caring, cuddly, affectionate, very much a tactile person... touch is important to me. But don't tell anybody or I'll have to have you kicked out of the club.
my current state of dysfunction in relationships makes it clear I cannot function in an intense relationship. If I can ruin something great so easily just by means of my reaction to simple misunderstandings and disagreements, I need to be alone. This is not going to change any time soon. The things that have been done to me are rather extreme and unreasonable, and I am incapable of being reasonable with others myself in response to it all. This stuff has to come out somewhere until I can sort it. I have no delusions that this will happen quickly. I don't mean this to discount the possibility of playmates, secondary partners, platonic friendships or partners on various endeavours or projects we might share in common, by all means contact me if you have an idea you think I could help with, or simply want to hang. Honestly, I have no reason to be on here, other than maybe someone will tell me something on here that will change everything for the better by setting me on the right path.
Be open and up front and that will go a long way. Lie or avoid telling me stuff and nothing good will come of it. I don't care about being 'protected' from the truth or being 'let down easy' about anything. Those are all sad excuses for the cowardly. If its going to upset me, its probably because its upsetting stuff. Hiding it away will not improve it with age, its not a bottle of port. I love port by the way. Please bring me a bottle if we meet.
I'd like to meet people that have a bit of free time to hang out, or don't mind inviting me along when they hang out with their other friends. A lot of people seem to have a thing for excluding me these days, even when they aren't really up to anything special... going so far as to invite myself along is not the answer, but I've tried that too. It all leads down to me sitting home bored alone most nights. I'd like to do something about this, but that is difficult when I meet so much resistance.
I have tattoos, a fair number in fact. Hope that isn't a problem. I myself don't have a 'type' but I suppose heavily tattooed girls tend to have less of an issue with this for obvious reasons. But honestly - age, body type, hair color, etc. are not important to me. These things have little to do with being on the same page as someone else as far as I have seen.
I suppose many would think I'm a pessimist, and I suppose I can be when things are going against me... I tend to get my crap in life in big lumps, rather than here or there. Its always stuff like my credit card getting stolen, a relative dying or getting ill, an ex of more than 5 years calling to randomly tell me off, a friend ditching me etc. in the same day. this is usually followed by periods of calm. It gets to me yeah, But I can endure anything and I'm still me when the quiet times are back. So yeah, I guess part time pessimist. Definitely a realist. There are also times when I find I am the ray of sunshine among the jaded as well though. We all have our moments. I have faith in things at odd times when others don't. I don't see myself as on the other side of the fence... just a different cut of the same cloth. Maybe a strange cut.
What are all us real people doing on here? I ask myself that every time I hear a crazy story from one of you about the guy from this site who met a you for the first date, and ditched you with some messed up excuse, or gave the server his number in front of you. Retarded stories like that. You must be a bit jaded by all that. Myself, I feel ill every time I see a profile that says something about a guy needing to go to the gym at least 4 days a week, but not have a problem that you don't.... or that he has to have a nice car, but you don't even own a bike... or that he has to have a high paying job, but you don't... I get a bit jaded myself. Seriously, if your goals in life are Ben and Jerry's on the couch, a part time job at some retail shoe shop, and never owning your own vehicle, it really slims your chance of meeting a Brad Pitt type with a Beamer and an 8 figure salary to support you in this. Maybe he's out there but don't count on it. If a guy had a profile that said he spent all his time playing video games and eating corndogs, working at 7-11, and wanted someone to support him and drive him around, you'd call him a... you get the idea. Think about it.
I keep fiddling with my profile and 'looking for' and 'marital status' and 'interested in' because none of them really explain things properly. You can really contradict youself with 3 seperate settings that are kinda the same too. What's with not single/not looking? How does somebody know if you are one or both of those things? What if you are single but not looking? I mess with these settings regularly to my own amusement. It helps avoid or encourage some really interesting and random messages from people.
My old profile really went on about a lot more stuff that bugged me. It was a great bs filter... people who were my type (at least on a mental level) were almost frantic to talk to me and hang out. I arranged my first place to stay in this city, and met a whole pile of awesome people with that profile and the 'looking for friends' setting. People who were not my type randomly wrote me to say how I had huge anger issues and good luck finding somebody to put up with all my baggage. I loved those messages. I wish I remembered everything I had written on the old account.