mag4christ
Age: 36
Long term
tibbidoe: See "first date" section, if nothing else...
About
Smokes often with Average body type
City
?, Virginia
Details
35 year old Man, 6' 1" (185cm), Non-Religious
Ethnicity
Caucasian Capricorn with Black hair
Intent
tibbidoe is actively seeking a relationship
Education
Some college
Personality
Class Clown
Profession
Production







I am Seeking a Woman For Long term
Needs Test View his relationship needs Chemistry View his chemistry results
Do you drink? I do not drink Do you want children? No
Marital Status Single Do you do drugs? No
Pets No Pets Eye Color Hazel
Do you have a car? Yes Do you have children? Yes
Longest Relationship Over 4 years How ambitious are you? Very Ambitious



About Me
twitter: @tibbidoe, instagram/kik/snapchat: tibbidoe

MY SELF-SUMMARY:

Tibbidoe - (ti-bi-doh)
In Ukrainian mythology, is the God of Bubble Baths, a stockholder of Bed, Bath and Beyond and ruler of his minions, the Scrubbing Bubbles. His symbols are the bath towel, shower cap, loofah and soap dish. Tibbidoe is frequently depicted by Ukrainian artists in one of two poses: standing, with a towel around his midsection, dripping all over the floor, or seated in the tub, leg in the air, washing his tootsie...

WARNING: THIS PROFILE HAS BEEN RATED NC-17 BY THE MOTION PICTURE ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED...

ATTENTION: THE PROFILE YOU'RE ABOUT TO READ CONTAINS IDEAS, VIEWS AND LANGUAGE NOT SUITABLE FOR MOST JUDGEMENTAL, SMALL-MINDED, HYPOCRITICAL, OVERLY RELIGIOUS AND/OR GERMAN PEOPLE. IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED, YOU MAY WANT TO RE-THINK THE READING OF THIS PROFILE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED...

Another quick note: Whether you like my profile or not, leave some feedback, positive or not and I'll think very seriously about washing your car for you... Promise. Tell your friends...

But first... (Cue the dramatic background music) I'd just like to get some stuff out of the way before you proceed...

I have a 16-year-old son (he lives with his Mom) who means the world to me. He's played soccer, basketball, baseball and football. But more importantly, he is much smarter than I was at that age...

I REPEAT: I have a child. I have a 'kid'. There's a young guy I hang around with, but he's not my little brother and I'm not babysitting for a friend. I'm 35, he's 16. If me having had a child when I was young is something you can't handle, please stop reading... here. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding. -Management

PS - Don't take is personally if we don't click. We're all adults here. Not every person is going to fit me, and I'm not going to fit every person. That's life... Also, not every message I send is meant to be a pickup line or an attempt to get in your pants. Some people on here just seem interesting and worth having a conversation with, and some just need to get over themselves...

Sorry to start off sounding hostile, but you know how it is. Or maybe you don't...

Anyway...

I'm a ginormous sports fan. Mainly NFL football (Washington Redskins) and NBA basketball (Orlando Magic). I was at the 2008 Hall of Fame induction to see Art Monk, Darrell Green, Emmitt Thomas and those other guys go in. It was GREAT!... I also like the Boston Red Sox and Atlanta Braves...

...also screw NASCAR, the New York Yankees, the Los Angeles Lakers, the New England Patriots, the Philadelphia Eagles, the Miami Heat, the New York Giants, the University of Miami, Duke University, soccer, hockey and especially, above all others, the Dallas Cowboys...

I rarely drink, don't do drugs, love to make people laugh and don't give a fabulous flying **** what people think of or about me (but I really want YOU to like me). I take love very seriously (when I have it) and finding love just as seriously (when I don't). I'm generally shy around people that I don't know well, I hate large groups of strangers and I have never in my life had it in me to approach a woman at a bar for conversation. Kind of sad, huh?...

I sometimes take longer than I should to respond to messages, so please be bare with me...

P.S.-
If nothing in this profile makes you laugh, then you are broken. Sorry to have to be the one to tell you. I add things on here whenever I feel the urge, so check back, maybe something here will eventually work. If not, I'll give you a million dollars. Or I'll beat you with a stick. I'll decide.

My bologna has a first name, but I can’t tell you what it is because he’s in the witness protection program...

My friends say I look like a white DMX...

Plop plop, fizz fizz, oh what a relief it is...

I like whistling the whistley part of "Walk Like an Egyptian"...

It's really hard to throw gang signs properly while wearing oversized leather work gloves...

SPEAKING of goat farmers... My Uncle used to have a Boxer. He was a piece of crap. (My Uncle... not the dog) The dog was nice enough...

So, be kind to your birds and your goats...

I recently discovered that I am a direct descendant of Jeff (The God of Biscuits)...

Smurf porn-
Smurfette: "Yeah Brainy, smurf it in my smurfhole, you big smurfy smurf"
Brainy: "OH! I'ma gonna smurf, I'm gonna smurf"...

Shimmy shimmy ya, shimmy yam, shimmy yay,
Gimme the mic so I can take it away...

No... That's a pencil in my pocket AND I'm happy to see you...

Narrator: So, on he walked... and sometimes, drove... and occasionally, partied all night with the desert creatures...

WHAT I'M DOING WITH MY LIFE:

I'm usually just sitting around, wearing my "Internet Suit": butt naked, except for a cowboy hat, monster feet slippers, a Zorro mask, and my super-sweet Batman cape...

Whatever, don't judge me...

Also, after much procrastination, I'm finally getting back into good shape. Next, I kick the smoking habit permanently...

In other news from my personal life-

A couple of years ago, I was working as a repo-man for a plastic surgeon who specialized in breast implants. After about 6 months on the job, all the pressure, the deadlines and the paperwork just got to be too much. (Take a moment, let that marinate a little...) There you go! Feel free. Laugh it up. Don't try to hold it in, you'll just make yourself fart and really embarrass yourself!...

I got a summons today. It seems my neighbor is taking me to court. He claims that my pet pig knocked up his pet raccoon. That's ridiculous. My pig is gay. I'll let you know what happens. You just try not to worry about it too much and get some sleep tonight...

First Date
[01/20/14]
I'll save everybody some time....
I'm looking for someone LOCAL to me (less than 1 hour). I want something long term, but other options are possible. Either way, I'd like to find someone to spend some time with...
I'm also looking for someone who can/will be able to travel within the next 2 years or so...
Any race... younger than me... physical attraction is (somewhat) important. No pic, no reply...
No kids or no MORE kids is now set in stone. I considered changing that before, but no longer (I may consider adoption if/when children are possibly wanted)...
I won't settle for anything less than being truly happy. I'm looking for someone to come home to...

[03/17/14]
If you own dogs and think that you are their "Mommy" or that they are your "babies", or if you value your critters over people or the possibility of a relationship/marriage, move along. People like that drive me nuts. I truly believe that people who think this way are mentally disabled and thus, are a liability to our society as a whole. I get having pets. I get loving your pets. THEY ARE STILL JUST ANIMALS AND ARE NOT THE SAME AS ACTUAL BABIES/CHILDREN! Psychos...


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