WARNING!!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE STOP READING MY PROFILE NOW.
For some reason reading my profile upsets men and they feel the need to write me childish rants on why I need a life. I usually just delete the emails and move on. But lately they have started pissing me off.
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for some where to vent,I can tell you to get a facebook page. What I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you stop writing that lame email in response to my profile now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kick your ass.
I am not your average chick, I'm a blend of humor and honesty that most are not looking for and that is fine. This is a process of elimination. I will not make everyone's cut and that is fine. I'm not looking for a sugar daddy so buying me a cruise ticket is sooooooooooooo nice but I can do that for myself. I've got alot to bring to the table. Please do so also.
This is the deal, I've had to change my phone number twice because of crazy ass folks, so until we meet and I see for myself that your profile pic is really you not a magazine or your brother, or a pic of you from 1967, you will have to email me on here or text me on yahoo IM.I WILL NOT CALL YOU SO KEEP YOUR NUMBER.If this offends you. Then yep CHARLIE BROWN this is why I had to come up with this rule.
What am I looking for in a guy?
1. must own a belt (sagging is how prisoners know your gay FYI)
2. must wear doo rags and wife beaters as sleep wear, not on pictures and to walk out the house.(unless you look like Tyrese and you can wear whateva)
3. must not live in another state
4. must love to travel I'm addicted to cruises.
5. must be physically fit, you dont have to be body builder but Cedric the Entertainer is funny, not cute to me.
6. you gotta have more in your vocabulary than, Damn girl your fine!
7. must not have a degree in lying, I'm to old to be doing research on you.(oh but I will)
8. sorry but I'm not into braids, if your a professional ball player ok, but I'm not a groupie either so probably not gonna work either.
9. Bonus if you know what a tribble is!(google it if you must, but dont get pissed cause I said your proficent at research)
10. be patient, he or she is out there for everyone. Dont lower your standards for anyone, if need be raise theirs. Good luck folks!
****update***** if your married, even if you have been seperated for 5 yrs. I am not the one for you. Seriously you been in a relationship that isn't working and for 5 yrs you can't get a divorce? That is not a trait I'm looking for.
I open to almost anything but shooting my own dinner out in the woods over a open fire.
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you MUST meet the following criteria:
Older than 35
Live within 75 miles.
Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.
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Must not be looking for Talk/E-mail
Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not be looking for Activity Partner
Must not do drugs
Must not be married
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