Brief synopsis of my person.
[Disclaimer.: Don't take all of this literally or we most certainly will not become acquainted, if you make it all the way to the end of this I will be sincerely impressed in which case we should write a screenplay.]
I MUST STATE I'M LITERALLY STRAIGHT OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP. Just looking for mates and laughs because without those we have NOTHING :)
The most important stuff first
Favourite singer - Dallas Green (City & Colour).
Favourite composer/pianist - Ludovico Einaudi.
Favourite band(s) - Parkway Drive/Alexisonfire.
Favourite music - Metal, House, Acoustic, Classical... most things.
I'm considering completely DOING ONE so feel free to join me around the world (unless you're mental)
Stuff I like?
-Moussaka and Gyros hmm.
-The Lion King (but not the special edition edit).
-I used to like piercings but recently have taken all of mine out... That is not to say I don't think they may look nice upon your person.
-Political debates... thoroughly enjoyable.
-I LOVE learning, I am like a massive sponge of information. A good looking sponge of information.
-Nostalgia whilst running in the countryside (makes me overwhelmingly emotional... I must have mistaken my testicles for ovaries).
-Playing my guitar often and singing beautifully.
-Drinking coffee, tea, Earl Grey tea, Rioja... gotta love red wine, GIN AND TONIC!
-Brylcreem & Old Spice.
-Vans, Ray Bans, spray tans and that.
-Anthropology & ethnography.
-Science and Sci-Fi stuff... I find it titillating.
-Fantasy fiction like LOTR and anything far and between.
-Classical music through to metal (This encompasses pretty much everything... except DubStep... it has been swiftly ruined!).
-Intelligent people and intelligent conversation (I'm not a professor of language or philosophy HOWEVER it is nice to have conflicting OPINIONS and to make a resolution of the two... I also hate 'text language'; don't you effing dare even speak to me with that gash).
-Taking the piss out of myself and others because come on, let's face it, it you can't poke fun at yourself you should just take your own life.
Things I hate?
-Chipshop w*nkers (usually includes people who dress poorly, look impoverished and communicate like a monkey... you know what I mean; being a retard does not make you attractive! It is quite the opposite).
-Glow paint and glow sticks... unless someone puts them through my bumhole ears for a joke (stretched my ears then let them close... with the aid of hospital treatment it now looks like I have a guinnea pig's vagina on each side of my face).
-Unpleasant behaviour (self explanatory).
-PEOPLE WHO TAKE THEMSELVES TOO SERIOUSLY AND SPEND MORE TIME IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR THAN MAKING THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE CAN STICK THEIR OWN FACES UP THEIR OWN CHUFFS. DON'T SPEAK TO ME I WON'T REPLY.
-Probably you... sooooo you know TARRAR.
Impulsive and indecisive; I don't know what I want but I know I want IT now.
An obnoxious, narcissistic megalomaniac.
I like 'chicks' with Vans, Ray Bans and occasionally spray tans.
I enjoy films were chicks get nailed and lots of things blow up.
It's about Acoustic, Metal, Classical Music, World Music and 2pac.
I EFFING LOVE MOUSSAKA.
Before messaging my person I need to make something completely clear so that you are NOT wasting your time; if you cannot spell correctly, do not punctuate, or swear for the sake of swearing as opposed to provoking reaction or to humorously add emphasis to a word or phrase DO NOT even think I'll reply... stop right there.
The above statement is also applicable if you have a face like a bag of smashed crabs; I'm not saying I am the world's most handsome individual, I'm saying that if you are aesthetically unpleasant or heavier than me I won't reply to you... this isn't prejudice this is personal preference.
Now that we have established I am a bit of a d!ck... proceed as necessary.
Meet, drinks, you listen and remain in silence whilst I talk about myself and my interests, more drinks, you still remain in silence, dark corner, get fingered (only at this point may you make a sound)... Send you home in a taxi.
Nah I'm lying, walking? Yeah we'd go walking, with my guitar, hip flask and religious documents; We'd start by walking down the river close to my house and drinking whatever alcohol I have placed in the hip flask (rum or gin are most likely), I'd lay out a blanket for us to sit on and produce a wicker basket full of AMAZING confectionery/baked/prepared deliciousness, I'd sing you songs as the sun goes down on the lake/pond toward the end of the river, we'd watch the sun go down then I'd knick your neck just a little, bleed you out slowly, chop you up into little pieces and feed you to the geese, herons and swans. The best and last date you'll ever have.
[N.B. In all seriousness this is purely just for fun , I hope you're not offended and I hope you enjoy reading it! I'm not after sausaging anyone nor do I want to take anyone out... a shame I know!]
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